Who is God to me?

There is an old irish prayer by St Patrick that I am quite fond of. The first stanza (when translated into english) reads:

Christ before me,
Christ with me,
Christ behind me,
Christ within me.

I find there is a beautiful progression that the poet is building on in order to express himself and his relationship with Jesus. Having an irish heritage myself, I'm going to take it (its not like its nailed down or that he’s paying attention or anything).

The first two lines are a fine summary of much of the christian way of living. That it is Jesus who encourages me onwards, gives me a reason to go do what I do. It was St Paul that wrote in his letter to the Philippians “ I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” For me this piece of scripture is central to my life. That every day that I am alive I have something to live for beside sating my own bodily desires and appetites. It also means that He is my example and teacher. Should I ever lose my way, all I need do is focus my eyes on Him.

But I know that it is not enough for me to simply acknowledge the existence of Jesus, or only have Him as my teacher and mentor. Such is not His will. John3:16, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (I left it in red so we’d know Jesus said it). I have the greatest friend any man or woman has ever had. I know that I am not alone and never have to be, not only That He is but also that He is there. I think that sometimes we Christians sometimes forget that. God not only came down to put us right but came down, went down further and then came up and rose up to where He came from originally in order that we could be saved. If that was all that He did, in order that we wouldn’t go to hell, then He did more for us than we deserve. But it wasn’t. God sent a part of Himself to dwell with us all the time that we are down here. Consider the cost He paid in order to be with you.

To have Christ behind me is to have the assurance that He supports me, He has forgiven me and continues to forgive me. Regardless of what I do, He cannot love me more and will not love me less. And that is all well and good if it is far as I want to go. But it isn’t. I believe St Patrick put that line third for a very good and very specific reason. Not always are things going to work out for me. This isn’t fatalism, or cynicism, but it’s true. At those times, the times when things don’t happen as I would wish, and I wonder where God is, I know where I have to look. Behind me. Sometimes to call me back to something I haven’t dealt with, sometimes to show me things that I had forgotten. It is also for me the sign that God really wants in on my life. Not only for the times when I am doing well and accomplishing things in His name but the times when I am doing badly, making His name look bad through my actions. In my weakness is His strength made perfect. The last part is when I am doing all the right things and it doesn’t work out even then. The times when my frustration with God boils up in me and I ask Him why this? Or why not this? Or why not now? God is still there, though I don’t feel His presence. God is still there, even when it doesn’t look like it. Christ behind me. Not only am I looking to Him but He is watching over me.

Christ within me. The completed and central message of the Gospel. St Paul once wrote "not I who live but Christ who lives in me." I have spoken of almost every single aspect of Christianity thus far and would have potentially missed this one as it is extremely close to my heart. Right to the point of being inside it. Jesus didn’t come down only in order to save and befriend us. He came down because He loved us far too much in order to let us stagnate or be anything other than perfect. God moves into our hearts, not just as a permanent resident but to be a continuously persistent craftsman, perfecting every aspect of His creation, that it would be perfectly conformed to His will. The quiet voice, That gentle music, the irresistable strength of that unarmed truth and the attraction of its example. This is the essence Of Christ within me.

It is these things and, more importantly that person who is God to me.



Josh Zugai