Face to Face With my Own Self(ishness)

Well, I did promise that I would post again soon.

Those of you who were priveledged (not exactly the right word) with hearing my whinges about how I have been feeling over the past few days, I would like to say right now, and very publicly, thanks alot for putting up with me. I know I am not the easiest person to have in your life. I am a man of many flaws, including arrogance, pride, general inability to be pleasant at times, absent mindedness, the list could go on for quite some time. But I think I'll stop there.

The funny thing sometimes how we get when God is doing something in our lives we feel that we ought to come out of it happier and well rewarded for our pains. Hey, sometimes you do. Soemtimes you don't. I was complaining to God about this fact and He pretty well replied with "Well Josh, I gave you one of the highest responsibilities I could give someone to be in someone elses life and you know what kid, you did well. You did it, just like you were suppsed to. Are you only going to do what you have to do when there is an evident reward there for you? Are you going to demand blessing every time I use you to do something in someone else's life?" I didn't answer those questions. I didn't feel, and still don't that I have an answer that is worth even trying to make sound like it is plausable.

One thing God told me was that I was going to come out of this thing with more passion. I thought He meant I was going to be all singing, all dancing etc. Woah, how very far wrong I was. The word passion comes from a greek word which means suffering. With all that I was put through I have learned something. I love God more, I love people more and I love my church more.

And there you go.

Josh

p.s. Still haven't got the joyful thing really nailed down yet. But I do have something else that will be posted in 2 days.