ZUGBLOG

Moonlighting

2006-10-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I should level with you guys.

I've been cheating on you. Pretty badly too.

You see, it all happened when Fran sent me an email with a link it in to a job site that said it was looking for bloggers and was wanting to pay them. I of course jumped on it and got accepted.

I was fairly pleased (note, the theme from Rocky was playing in my head for like, 3 days) and so got to work. And kept at work. I produce something there every two days or so, and it is all about the books I read and the authors I admire. But I promise you, it is written like I write everything. www.aliterati.com.

Please go check it out, I hope you like it.

Josh.

p.s. I will keep updating this blog, at least once a week. Or at least, I will try to.

What a Tool!

2006-10-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Well, this being wednesday it's my day off so I decided that I would take some time to write some stuff down. That's pretty well my plan for each wednesday now. Spend as much time writing and getting stuff done as I can. Also planning on getting a haircut today.

I was talking with James Inglis and we spoke about the fact that sometimes I just don't want to go to Powerhouse, the ministry time for 18-25 year olds, on a friday night and there are times I would rather stay home and do some writing or relax without people around me. I spend alot of time with people and sometimes I need my space. Other times I should just shut up and be where I ought to be with people so I can grow. We laughed and joked about the fact that there are leaders out there that would judge our walk with God by one's committment to getting to Powerhouse. We also laughed at the suggestion that I should go to Hillsong Bible College and do a pastoral thingy. I was thinking that if I do go, that I would do a bachelor of theology. James agreed. "Josh, doing the pastoral classes you get taught a certain mindset, a certain way of thinking that wouldn't suit you." Those words struck pretty true. I think a certain way. No surprises there. Other people think in other ways. This is also no surprise. One thing we spoke of though was that some christians tend to go to town on other christians think differently to them. I try not to, but I know my intellectual chavunism (someone please tell me I spelt that right) sometimes does get the best of me. But I did say something fairly interesting. You can't judge me as being a bad hammer when I happen to be a screwdriver. Let me clarify a little.

Paul said that every part of the body of Christ is different, unique, all suited to different purposes. The body cannot see without the eye but the body is not all one eye. We also have the stomach, the liver, the brain, the ear, the hands, the feet and the colon (I am Jack's colon, I get cancer, I kill Jack). In my case, I know what I am suited to. I can write, I can think. I can see stuff that others can't. I can be pretty wise from time to time and I can think differently. I am NOT a street evangelist. I cannot lead worship. I cannot jump up and down excitedly going "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" In a high pitched voice everytime the speaker makes a good point. There is stuff I can do, and stuff I can't. I'm okay with it, I value it. The right for me to value and judge the worth of these characteristics is out of my hands and thank God for that. But it gets to me sometimes when a preacher gives a message about a certain kind of attitude, or gives a definition of a trait that is so closed it leaves it no room to grow. I came up with a saying a wee while back, I keep it in my head. "Don't get down on me, cause I don't get down like you."

With all that said I guess it doesn't leave much more to be said. Well, maybe a few things. Reading through the Gospels I notice that all the twelve were very different people. Peter was a jerk, John was a sissy, Thomas was a bit of a loonie (seriously, the guy might have been bi-polar) and Paul was a fight-picker. What I also noticed was that Jesus never told them about their personality. He rebuked their character, or lack thereof, but He never told them that they had to all be the same. He left their personalities to themselves. I think that every individual is like me, an image and likeness of God made by His own hands.

Josh

I would like to say right now that I apologise to anyone I have offended by insulting their way of thinking when I was not supposed to. Likewise, I now forgive those that have insulted mine when they were not supposed to. And I apologise to everyone I have ever gotten crappy with when they insulted my way of thinking when they WERE supposed to.

The Pointy End Of Christianity

2006-09-27T04:57:00.000-07:00

Everyone please note; I didn't write this entry. A man named James Inglis did. You can find his blog at www.blog.clafhn.com. Anyways, enjoy.

First things first - this title is borrowed from Josh. He said he'd hurt me considerably if I stole his line and didn't credit him. He brought it up in conversation and really got me thinking...

We emphasise all the benefits of Christianity when we preach - freedom, forgiveness, wholeness, grace, favour, prosperity... But at the end of the day, a lot of those are about ME and how they make MY life better. We sugar coat it to make it appealing, and in some ways, palatable. But there is a sharp edge that we are slower to share with people because it hurts. Some things hurt, but we can look through the pain and see the great results (for ME) on the other side. But some things have no such resolution...

That to which I refer is dying to oneself. When I die to myself - my dreams, desires, thoughts, opinions, feelings, emotions - I am not doing it because it feels good. Some try to emphasise the end result being so great, or they take some masochistic pleasure in putting themselves through pain. I'm having thoughts and feelings that are not sinful in and of themselves, but I know in my heart that following through with them is not in my best interests or the interests of others close to me. They're selfish, and meet a need that I feel I have in my life. Even if I didn't follow them through to conclusion, I could enjoy myself indulging in these thoughts and feelings.

As I die to myself, I cut these off in their tracks: I refuse to think the thoughts or feel the emotions. Somehow I know that it's in my best interests, but as I'm down there in the trenches of day to day life, I don't necessarily see this big picture. I don't have a carrot placed five steps ahead of me to keep me walking through. All I know is that a voice whispers in my ear, "Trust me, this is somethings you need to do." And to be honest, I don't always hear that. Sometimes you're just left with the dull ache of nothingness, as 'self' has been buried but is still banging on the lid of the coffin, begging to be let out: to be felt, experienced, lived...

This is the pointy end of Christianity - the end that pierces flesh and starts to rip out that which does not glorify God. That which does not promote the call of God on my life. That which does not build others up. I don't continue along this path of gradual martyrdom because it feels good, because that just isn't the case. I don't continue because God has directly told me to cut specific things out. I continue because of a haunting conviction that this is the right thing to do, that He will increase and I will decrease whatever the cost to me. Bringing glory to God has NOTHING to do with me or my comfort levels - it really is and always will be all about HIM.

2006-09-18T05:52:00.000-07:00

This post may get my ass kicked, or at least get random passers by to kick it.

But hey, what's life without a little random ass kicking now and then?

I think I am one of the least australian australians around. I don't really like cricket, I don't follow any footy team (of any code), I don't drink beer, I am not a mad sports fanatic (I enjoy when we win but I don't really watch any game in particular), I spend more time reading than I do surfing (I can't surf at all), I am not particularly fond of country music (apparently in some areas that is important), I very rarely use any slang that most aussies do use and I have a tendency to respect people who achieve.

I guess this all comes down to what I have been reading in the paper recently. So often we tell people that if they live here, they must have "Australian Values". I've been wondering what they are. Are they the values where we scorn everyone that doesn't think, act or talk like us? I hope not. Are they the values where we let anything go as long as it is funny? I REALLY hope not (despite the fact that I could get away with murder if that was the case). I think the main cut and thrust of such an idea, to have values inherent in a populace is a good thing, but I think we need to be careful as to the values we want to encourage.

Before we look at other cultures and how their values are different to ours, we should look at our own values, and what we are doing to strengthen them.

Josh.

What is Love?

2006-09-09T05:40:00.000-07:00

According to Webster’s Dictionary it is many things. It is a feeling of attraction, benevolence, and a close tie of kindred nature. It is also closely related to sex, which I guess surprises no-one. But is it so easy to sum up with just a few sentences? I don’t think so. I think the only way to completely define it is to look at the way it changes the people that it affects. What does love do for a man?

There’s a lot of stuff I love. I love my coffee, I love my music, I love books too (I drink at least 3 cups a day, listen to music all the time and have almost 500 books, perhaps obsessed is the better word). And hey, I really do like that stuff. It makes my bookshelves as if they have a reason other than just sitting there taking up space. But I wouldn’t love this stuff if it was just stuff. I love coffee because I actually like the taste (the caffeine is also good), I love my music because I love poetry and good beats and I love books because I love reading. But this is a selfish kind of love cause what I am doing there is simply loving an object as its use is beneficial to me. Love has to be more than that if it is to be anything at all.

Any man that has just fallen in love will probably notice a few things about himself. He’s happier, for a start. He is constantly thinking of what he can do to brighten the day of whoever it is that he is in love with, and his thoughts towards the object of affection change as well. They become much more idealistic, he starts to dream dreams about them, create fantasies around the two of them spending time together. In the right context, this is a wonderful and beautiful thing. The man seems to magically transform into someone much more amazing than who he is, and is eager to become even better because that would please the one he loves. In the wrong context it’s a nasty self serving little bastard that has no regard for the object (in this case this is the perfect word as this kind of thing regards people only as objects) that the man claims to love, only wanting to satisfy itself. This is just lust, and as much fun as it is, it isn’t the real thing.

Ever met a new father? Tiresome, aren’t they? Being from a family of six kids, generally speaking, newborn babies aren’t the novelty for me that they are for a lot of other people. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. As long as their parents take them home when they go. But it’s a wonderful thing to watch a dad cradle this tiny life for which he is partially responsible for having brought into the world, to see a man go from some guy with a woman to a dad. For this man, this man who loves his child, everything has changed. If he is truly in love with his family, all he does is grounded on the love he feels for them. Heavy I know.

From what I’ve seen of love, heard of love, and felt in love and I can be sure of a few things about it. Love isn’t just a feeling, it isn’t just a nice word for a primal urge to spread my seed and it most certainly isn’t something invented by Hallmark in order to sell a lot of cards. Love is a reality.

Josh Z.

Wisdom From Quite an Irregular Source

2006-08-09T06:54:00.001-07:00

Warning, I intend to use two not particularly pleasant words in this post. I don't mean Early Morning (granted, that is VERY unpleasant) but I felt it civilised to at least give you a warning.

I will happily confirm the accusations and speculations that I am a bit of a nerd. I play games, I read books, I know alot of stuff, I know alot of details about alot of stuff and I watch lots of animation. One of the animations I watch is Red vs. Blue. It is a Halo/Halo2 based animation which is made by a bunch of guys with an xbox and spare time. In one of the seasons, one of the characters is sent through time repeatedly, trying to fix some circumstances and failing repeatedly. At the end, everything works out well, but the character has something to say about the whole experience. According to Church (the name of the character) "No matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, they can't be any worse. Because that's the way things fuckin' are and you'd better get used to it Nancy. Quit your bitchin'."

Allow me to ruminate a little before the unruly mob finds my address.

If we simply say that our circumstances could be better (yeah, they might be pretty bad and I think only after going through alot of crap it is that I can write this) then we take away from what we are supposed to learn, how we are supposed to grow and what God is trying to teach us, say to us etc. Also, it might mean that He will have to do it again. Do you really want to go through all of that again because you went through it all for nothing? I've also found that there is too much that God can only teach us when we are completely teachable. And we are only completely teachable when we are actually listening to God, rather than filling our life with noise that blocks him out. So don't think things could be better. They couldn't. Simply focus on all that you have to do, all you can learn and don't take your eyes off of Him.

And things could not be worse. I remember a conversation that I had with a friend of mine, Rich Melheim. He was telling me that a friend of his gave him a series of books to read about financial wisdom when he was a quarter million dollars in the hole. He told me that his friend had said that unless you are learning about how to use your finances correctly and wisely, you are being a terrible steward over what God has given you. In this case, you must consider your thoughts to be a form of finance. If you are not being wise with them, you are being a terrible steward over what God has given you. And He will not abide that. The fruits of sin are death, so to think with sinful thoughts (and to live even a part of your life, the part in your head, outside of His will is prideful, which leads to sinfulness, which leads to division from God) will lead you to death, more than likely faster than you think. So do not think about how things could be worse. As it says in Ecclesiastes all we can do is enjoy our eating, drinking, our work and love and serve God. So do that.

So, there you go. Not the most eloquent of my posts but I have to admit, I liked it.

Josh.

King Without a Crown

2006-08-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is a dude you guys NEED to check out.

The guy's name is Matisyahu, which is the hebrew equivalent of Matthew. A practising hasidic orthodox jewish guy that produces some very high quality reggae music. His lyrics are brilliant.

King Without A Crown by Matisyahu

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my G-d all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my G-d, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Chorus

Bridge: Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown Thunder!
Let the blessings come down
Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Searchin' to the sky and beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus

Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exhile for too long

Dudes, seriously. Go to this guys site, check him out and then go buy his album. Now.

Josh.

p.s. the 19th of august is coming up. 25 years ago this 19th of august a monumentous event occurred. I was born. Maybe you guys should be talking amongst yourselves.

Feel the Pain!

2006-08-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

Well, last night at church was interesting, to say the least. Last night was called "Soul Night" and the message had some good points. I won't say them all, just the one that kind of hit home.

Donna Crouch (I kind of wondered for a small while why we had a skinny white woman talking about soul) made a very good point about pain. When pain comes to call, we essentially have two choices. We can either choose to listen to it, or we can choose to medicate it. I guess the main difference between the two could be illustrated in a couple of different ways. The first is that a man burns his hand on an oven. Now, the first thing he would do is put his hand in some ice, maybe put some medicine to reduce swelling, burning etc (obviously, I am not a doctor). From here, I guess we see the difference. A wise man would listen to what his pain told him. For example, don't put your hand on the oven when you have it on. Be careful where your hands are when you are cooking. And hey, why are you cooking? Don't you have a wife or something to do that for you? Now an unwise man would simply wait until his hand stops hurting and then gets back to the cookery without changing a damn thing about how he thinks about things (granted, an unwise man would also make a slightly sexist remark on a blog that has his name on it).

I think that the the absolute personification of someone that continued to choose to medicate is that of Dr House (man, I nailed EVERYTHING with this post. I mentioned church, House and I made a dodgy call, nice one Zugai). The cycle by which he lives his life is a very degenerate one. Instead of dealing with the problems that the way he chooses to conduct his life, he simply does things to make the pain stop.

Josh.

p.s. I would like to say, here and now that I have ALOT of respect for women. Mainly because my mother, who I love very much (hi mum!!) is also a woman. Just because I make fun of something doesn't mean I don't like or respect it. Sometimes, because I can see the funny side of it, it means I really do. Food for thought. Also, I am a pretty good cook. Yet to burn myself in the kitchen.

Poetic License

2006-08-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

I had this thought sometime ago and only recently has it started to show signs of finishing its fermentation process. Like most good thoughts, it struck me out of the blue, without any kind of warning. I was at dinner with some friends after church and I was thinking about how so many preachers either quote Psalms, use principles from the Psalms, recite the Psalms, use the Psalms as a context for a main point or simply refer to the Psalms. And I had this thought, "What does it say about the character of a God that would place so much authority on poetry?" Now, already that is a pretty cool thought as it gets you to think.

Last sunday of last month I decided to attend church with a friend of mine that used to go to Hillsong (disclaimer, I am NOT, repeat NOT thinking of leaving my home church. I simply wanted to see christianity from a different perspective and I have found that doing things like that actually feeds me quite a bit) and go to a little Anglican church somewhere out in Glenmoore. It turned out to be a very good choice. One of the scriptures they were studying was 1Corinthians1:27, God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. And it occurred to me that poetry is very much one of those weak things that can shame the strong.

I have never won an arguement with poetry. Poetry does not have to be logical, sensible or practical. It simply needs to be poetry. When I say poetry, I do not simply mean lines of writing that happen to rhyme. I mean things that stir the heart with their grandeur, touch the senses with their sensuality, and kick the head for doubting them. Those kind of things. These kind of things are weak, sometimes extremely weak, but they have their own strength which can completely confound the things with which we would win an arguement. For example, I have never actually seen God, I have never heard His physical voice, and more than likely through scientific enquiry would not be able to prove whether or not that He exists. But I can say now, that the best things I have ever known, the best thoughts I have ever had, the most uplifting experiences I have ever gone through were all because of Him.

But I don't think this ends here. Poetry, real poetry engages every part of us and forces it to a reaction. It makes us think, feel and either laugh or cry (sometimes both), it cannot help but to leave us different to how it found us. It leaves a mark upon us that no mere argument could ever remove. I will admit, I cannot tell you a scientific and proven equation as to why christianity works. The only way to see that it works, is to live it.

Josh

Despite All This.....

2006-07-19T04:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I did mention in my last post that I love my church even more than I used to. Which is true. But I think there are a few things I need to say about my church. Before I get started, let me say something in the defence of the old gal. I love my church. I love her alot. Maybe that is why I can write what I am about to write.

I sometimes get sick of the fact that nearly anything could be preached at Hillsong and you would still get people applauding and screaming, and wooing enthusiastically. Sometimes, I really do wish that people would spend a little more time really thinking about what the person up there is saying. Sometimes I get sick of the idolatry of personality that I find. Sometimes I just get angry.

And when I think about these I can also see that what every preacher is trying to do is communicate a massive point, with references, contexts, etc in a format that is both informative and engaging and that thirty minutes is not enough to do so. I also know (after having talked with a few people) that most of the people I know don't get most of what they need from the preacher. They get it at home when they read the word for themselves, in their quiet times, during their own devotionals. I know, and I love the fact that they are trying to help people become better people. I know, that my church is really just like a person. A big, flawed but very loving person that is doing their best.

And I love my church, for all of who she is.

Josh

Face to Face With my Own Self(ishness)

2006-07-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I did promise that I would post again soon.

Those of you who were priveledged (not exactly the right word) with hearing my whinges about how I have been feeling over the past few days, I would like to say right now, and very publicly, thanks alot for putting up with me. I know I am not the easiest person to have in your life. I am a man of many flaws, including arrogance, pride, general inability to be pleasant at times, absent mindedness, the list could go on for quite some time. But I think I'll stop there.

The funny thing sometimes how we get when God is doing something in our lives we feel that we ought to come out of it happier and well rewarded for our pains. Hey, sometimes you do. Soemtimes you don't. I was complaining to God about this fact and He pretty well replied with "Well Josh, I gave you one of the highest responsibilities I could give someone to be in someone elses life and you know what kid, you did well. You did it, just like you were suppsed to. Are you only going to do what you have to do when there is an evident reward there for you? Are you going to demand blessing every time I use you to do something in someone else's life?" I didn't answer those questions. I didn't feel, and still don't that I have an answer that is worth even trying to make sound like it is plausable.

One thing God told me was that I was going to come out of this thing with more passion. I thought He meant I was going to be all singing, all dancing etc. Woah, how very far wrong I was. The word passion comes from a greek word which means suffering. With all that I was put through I have learned something. I love God more, I love people more and I love my church more.

And there you go.

Josh

p.s. Still haven't got the joyful thing really nailed down yet. But I do have something else that will be posted in 2 days.

I'll be back

2006-07-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not posting in ages, wanted to nail the subject, Joyful Faith in my next post.

I am not going to, but I will post again soon.

I promise that it will be written honestly and lucidly.

Josh

Would That Make You Happy?

2006-06-18T06:07:00.000-07:00

Hmm, interesting post this one might be. I was driving home tonight after work, kind of praying, kind of reflecting. It was a good time to do both, as it turned out. I didn't go to church tonight, I felt more like a one on one kind of time between me and God. I was kind of thinking about what happened last month (I am still thinking about it, I don't think I have learned everything yet) and its impact on me. Well, what impact has it had on me? Have I changed? Why am I asking questions like this?

I think it was when I got the thought that Christianity cannot simply be something in our lives that we enjoy but that does not change us. If it is, then it is useless. If the only change we have seen in ourselves is that we are happier, but not doing things differently, not thinking differently, not living differently to how we were previously than we are not living as christians ought, but very happy pagans, albeit religious ones. Christianity cannot simply be something to make me happy, or make me more successful. If it is only that, it is useless. But if it is more than simply that, it is what it ought to be.

The other thing that occurred to me is that happy people don't necessarily feel the need to change. They can choose to, I imagine, but they have little reason to. A happy man can look upon the world, and upon himself and be content. A dissatisfied man will look upon the world and upon himself and make a decision. To do something about it. Are you happy? Maybe you shouldn't be. Not that I am saying that happiness is a bad thing. On the contrary, I quite enjoy being happy. But I also enjoy eating, and I know that I should eat only so much before it gets dangerous or unhealthy.

Maybe last months events were supposed to teach me this. That happiness is good, for awhile but if it keeps you from taking the steps forward you need to take, it may be time to go without it for awhile. See what you learn. I'd like to make clear that I am NOT, repeat NOT saying that grim faith is a good idea. It isn't. In fact, it is a terrible idea, and it can kill you. Joyful faith is not simply being happy. I'll cover it in the next post.

Josh

2.57cm is sometimes a VERY long distance

2006-06-09T00:10:00.000-07:00

I suppose there are times when you just have to vent and hope that someone is listening on the basis that what you are saying might help someone out. This is one of those posts. Just thought I would warn you.

The month of May was for this year, hopefully the worst month I will ever go through. I don't think that there was anything that I didn't have a problem with. My health suffered, my car suffered, my finances suffered, my inner being suffered. I got beaten up, and that quite badly (actually beaten up is a nice way of putting it, a more accurate way of stating it is to say that I was repeatedly kicked in the nuts).

But what did it prove? Not sure yet. But I won't let that stop me. Was I able to praise through the pain? No sorry, I wasn't. Was I able to do things like normal despite hurting like hell? Nope. I was pretty angry at some points and at times it was fairly evident. I also skipped some church here and there and my quiet times suffered. I think that last sunday at church was probably some kind of milestone. Or at least, some kind of event. There are times when you can "Fake it till you make it" in the praise and worship, jumping up and down until you feel as if you have something to jump up and down about. I didn't have the strength for that. For those of us who have either seen or read V for Vendetta (I've done both, the movie was better, V was a hero in the movie but in the comic book he was just a vaudevillian thug) you'll hopefully recall what one of the characters said about the last inch of us. That every other inch can be taken from us, except that last one. We can only give that inch away. It is small, and it is fragile, but it is the only thing worth having. What we do when reduced to that final inch I think is worth much more than almost anything else we could ever do. Yes, I skipped church, yes, my reading of the Word dropped off a bit. I'll admit those freely, though not happily. But at that final inch I could stand at church, crying my eyes out as I said every bloody and blessed word and I damn well meant every one of them. I worshipped with everything I had left, though it was only an inch.

But we have no other foundation within us save Christ.

Josh

Of The Three Virtues

2006-05-09T04:03:00.000-07:00

The apostle, St Paul stated in 1Corinthians13:13 "And now abideth, faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." CS Lewis stated that these are considered to be the Cardinal virtues of our faith. GK Chesterton once pointed out that each of these virtues have one thing in common. They can only ever be applied when you have no reason to, or indeed an overwhelming reason not to. They are completely unreasonable.

Faith is the first exponent of this idea. It is a belief in what you might not understand and cannot comprehend. It is the evidence of things unseen. Terry Pratchett in a novel of his once stated that "Evidence is that which is seen." So, using this as my definition, faith is that which is seen of that which is unseen. What evidence is there of my faith? Simple. That I am an honourable man? That I am an honest man? That I abide by the tenets and commandments of my faith? No, in themselves these prove very little indeed. What proves the existence of my faith is the fact that I can be an honourable man, an honest one and that I can abide by the tenets and commandments of my faith. God would not ever order us to do something without providing us the means with which to do it. That is faith and how one can see it in action.

Paul also said that love was the most important. A lady that had had 22 children (I'm from a family of 6 kids which I thought was quite crowded) once said to Groucho Marx that she loved her husband. His reply was "I love my cigar but I take it out once in awhile." Now, that little injection of humour aside, Paul makes excellent points in 1Corinthians13 about both the nature of love and the character of love. But Groucho makes an excellent point with what we ought to do with it. Love is not simply something to be shared between two people on an intimate basis. Rather, it is something that needs to be brought out to be any good. Bonhoeffer remarks in his book "The Cost of Discipleship" that as christians are the light of the world we ought to be bringing definition to it, as light brings definition all that it illuminates. If we live the lives of love that God intends for us, it is impossible for the world not to see the God in us.

Terry Pratchett (I do tend to quote him quite a bit, don't I?) stated that hope was at once a wonderful yet terrible thing. And I find myself unable to argue with him. Chesterton defined hope as "the power of being cheerful in circumstances which we know to be desperate." Hope is kind of the main thrust of what I wanted to write about anyway, which is why I have saved it till the end. Faith empowers the most, love is the most important. Hope is the most terrible. And why would such a thing be terrible? Because it is hope ( in it's original meaning being a confident expectation) which allows a man no rest. Faith may tell him that he has the power to do all things but it also reminds him that everything is in God's hands. Love may tell him to do the best for everyone around him, but love when given, is returned and can sustain a man in his darkest hour. But hope forces a man into continuing, even after his strength is spent, for it allows him no peace until it is fulfilled. It is the cause of almost every kind of internal conflict because every time that man may think about his accepting his failure, hope rallies again, rising him back to his feet for one more round. A hopeless man may indeed be a walking corpse, but a hopeful man is a man that cannot be stopped.

And thank God for that.

Josh

A favourite quote of mine

2006-05-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

This might be considered lazy but this is my blog and I will indeed post as I wish to. This is a favourite quote of mine from CS Lewis.

I am not arguing that pain is not painful. Pain hurts. That is what the word means. I am only trying to show that the old christian doctrine of being made "perfect through suffering" is not incredible. To prove it palatable is beyond my design......
My own experience is something like this. I am progressing along the path of life in my ordinarily contentedly fallen and godless condtion, absorbed in a merry meeting with my friends for the morrow or a bit of work that tickles my vanity today, or a new book, when suddenly a stab of abdominal pain that threatens serious disease, or a headline in the newspapers that threatens us all with destruction, sends this whole pack of cards tumbling down. At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happinesses look like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that all these toys were never intended to possess my heart, that my true good is in another world and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God's grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing strength from the right sources. But the moment the threat is withdrawn, my whole nature leaps back to the toys...
Thus the terrible necessity of tribulation is only too clear. God has had me for but forty-eight hours and then only by dint of taking everything else away from me.

Josh

He's got............

2006-05-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a little silly right now, but I promise a more serious posting tomorrow. Really.

I have heard of this drink mentioned on a couple of web comics I enjoy and I thought to myself that I had to have a look.

Bawlz. I did some research on bawlz.

Apparently these guys are talking all about their bawlz, and how great they are. Apparently all their employees love the taste and benefits of Bawlz. Now, for those of you chuckling horrendously, let me clarify. Bawlz is an energy soda, much equivalent to our V (though apparently there is more caffeine in Bawlz than V) and according to what I have read, going into a gaming session with a couple of Bawlz can make all the difference.

http://www.xoxide.com/bawguarcafdr.html

Unfortunately they only ship to US and Canada. D'oh. Oh well, I guess I'll have to be happy without any bawlz.

J

Freedom vs Simply Doing What You Want

2006-04-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

William Wallace apparently screamed it before being beheaded. Martin Luther King used the words “Free at last! Free at Last! Thank God Almighty we’re free at last!”. But here’s the kicker, what exactly does it mean to a Christian to be free? The two men that I just quoted were Christians. Martin Luther King quite obviously and Sir William Wallace was a devout catholic (A few years ago there was talk of canonizing him. My question would be what for?) and each made the pursuit of freedom for their people central to their lives, to the point where they each gave their life for it. But what does it actually mean to be free?

Now, I think I would be quite correct in saying that everyone, at some point in time or another, has done the wrong thing. If you haven’t I can only say well done, though you are in a very small company of people. Those that have done the wrong thing (nice to be speaking with the majority again) will understand what I mean when I talk about the remorse and feelings of guilt that have swamped us all from time to time. As a Christian, I am aware, and completely thankful of what Jesus has done for me, though I know I can never appreciate it enough. And there are many things for which I have needed forgiveness. I won’t bore either of us with the details but suffice to say, yes, I was indeed a sinner, a man bound to die an eternal death for my wrongdoings. As Paul says in Romans5:7-8 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Despite the fact of how bad I was, Jesus still lay down his life in order that mine would be saved. How this relates back to the topic is quite simple. I have been made free from the eternal consequences of my actions. In that I am forgiven, I am free.

But now that I have given everyone a license to continue sinning after they’ve said a prayer, perhaps I ought to type quite quickly to keep anyone from doing something stupid, as I am sure that Paul would have written quickly for the same reason. Romans6:1-2 says What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? One of the great dangers of Christianity is that because a person figures that they are free they are free to do what they wish. John Bevere once remarked that Christians seem to fall in the ditches of legalism or liberalism and that the only true path was to walk the road between them. In my case I would say that I fall more into the side of legalism than the other but I guess that in a way of looking at it, liberalism is simply the same as legalism just with a different hat. Both pay exquisite attention to what the Word says when it supports their argument, and not much attention to what the Word actually means when it doesn’t. Liberalism likes to enjoy the promises and forgiveness of God without actually putting any effort in. Not that it can be earned, but it most certainly must be walked in.

So Christians have been made free from the power of hell and the weight of the law. But this gives them no room to simply do what they like outside of this. As Paul also said in Romans (and what have the romans ever done for us?) “But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.” As Bob Dylan once sung (though I guess with his voice attaching musical terminology may be a mistake) “It may be the devil, or it may be The Lord but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.” We were by no means set free in order that we could live believing that all we are here for is to wait until God calls us home. He set us free that we could tell the other prisoners how they too can walk in the love and forgiveness of God.

Josh Zugai

Who is God to me?

2006-04-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

There is an old irish prayer by St Patrick that I am quite fond of. The first stanza (when translated into english) reads:

Christ before me,
Christ with me,
Christ behind me,
Christ within me.

I find there is a beautiful progression that the poet is building on in order to express himself and his relationship with Jesus. Having an irish heritage myself, I'm going to take it (its not like its nailed down or that he’s paying attention or anything).

The first two lines are a fine summary of much of the christian way of living. That it is Jesus who encourages me onwards, gives me a reason to go do what I do. It was St Paul that wrote in his letter to the Philippians “ I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” For me this piece of scripture is central to my life. That every day that I am alive I have something to live for beside sating my own bodily desires and appetites. It also means that He is my example and teacher. Should I ever lose my way, all I need do is focus my eyes on Him.

But I know that it is not enough for me to simply acknowledge the existence of Jesus, or only have Him as my teacher and mentor. Such is not His will. John3:16, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (I left it in red so we’d know Jesus said it). I have the greatest friend any man or woman has ever had. I know that I am not alone and never have to be, not only That He is but also that He is there. I think that sometimes we Christians sometimes forget that. God not only came down to put us right but came down, went down further and then came up and rose up to where He came from originally in order that we could be saved. If that was all that He did, in order that we wouldn’t go to hell, then He did more for us than we deserve. But it wasn’t. God sent a part of Himself to dwell with us all the time that we are down here. Consider the cost He paid in order to be with you.

To have Christ behind me is to have the assurance that He supports me, He has forgiven me and continues to forgive me. Regardless of what I do, He cannot love me more and will not love me less. And that is all well and good if it is far as I want to go. But it isn’t. I believe St Patrick put that line third for a very good and very specific reason. Not always are things going to work out for me. This isn’t fatalism, or cynicism, but it’s true. At those times, the times when things don’t happen as I would wish, and I wonder where God is, I know where I have to look. Behind me. Sometimes to call me back to something I haven’t dealt with, sometimes to show me things that I had forgotten. It is also for me the sign that God really wants in on my life. Not only for the times when I am doing well and accomplishing things in His name but the times when I am doing badly, making His name look bad through my actions. In my weakness is His strength made perfect. The last part is when I am doing all the right things and it doesn’t work out even then. The times when my frustration with God boils up in me and I ask Him why this? Or why not this? Or why not now? God is still there, though I don’t feel His presence. God is still there, even when it doesn’t look like it. Christ behind me. Not only am I looking to Him but He is watching over me.

Christ within me. The completed and central message of the Gospel. St Paul once wrote "not I who live but Christ who lives in me." I have spoken of almost every single aspect of Christianity thus far and would have potentially missed this one as it is extremely close to my heart. Right to the point of being inside it. Jesus didn’t come down only in order to save and befriend us. He came down because He loved us far too much in order to let us stagnate or be anything other than perfect. God moves into our hearts, not just as a permanent resident but to be a continuously persistent craftsman, perfecting every aspect of His creation, that it would be perfectly conformed to His will. The quiet voice, That gentle music, the irresistable strength of that unarmed truth and the attraction of its example. This is the essence Of Christ within me.

It is these things and, more importantly that person who is God to me.

Josh Zugai

A Minor Announcement

2006-04-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

After a long hiatus I am going to start posting some things on here.

This is merely a sort note to give warning.

J

What I got from Summercamp

2006-02-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

This is probably one of the most unique things that anyone could get from summercamp, but then, I do consider myself to be quite unique.

It was after the first night meeting and Paul Andrews got up to give us some basic announcements. Such as, lets consider the neighbours of the church and leave quietly. And of course "The carpark at Maccas (Mc Donalds; I'm trying to write it out phonetically) is completely full of cars of people that are here at this camp." As we cheered and went woohoo collectively he gave us what I think is the largest yet most honest rebuke that I have ever heard "You're christians, try acting like it!"

Wow.

Funnily enough, I don't remember much of the messages, but I do remember this being yelled at me by a good hearted maniac with a microphone. It is the biggest challenge I can imagine. To act like a christian would. Not should, to obligate someone to a set of behaviours, but would, to engage the will and choose. I've started to question myself in areas of my life. What would a follower of Christ do here? Is this how someone with Christ in them should act? Indeed, what would Jesus do?

Right now, I am studying my Bible more, though I need more quiet times. I need to pray more. Not because I have to, that somehow works will make God love me more. They won't. But because I'm a christian. It's time to act like it.

Josh

Wealth and what we do (or don't do) with it

2006-02-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

This one comes in from Gideon (otherwise known as Jordan Peacock) and is the first entry on here written by someone else. At the moment, Jordan tells me, he hasn't finished the book but he'll give me some more stuff for when he has. I hope you gain from this.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and
watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many
rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in
two very small copper coins,worth only a fraction of a penny.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this
poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They
all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in
everything—all she had to live on."
+ + +
Many of you, coming from a Christian background, may recognize this
story and it's moral. I have, but have never made more than a general
association of the moral to my life. Just recently I have been reading
and discussing K.P. Yohannan's book "Revolution In World Missions"
(http://www.gfa.org/gfa/b1 for free .pdf, audio download, or paper
copy) and it's implications. One of the concepts Yohannan brings up is
the idea that it is the first world's responsibility, as the richest
part of earth, to use those riches effectively to promote God's
kingdom.
I'll continue with this, but first let's take a step back; is it
really an obvious responsibility?
Some basic facts: roughly half the world's population lives on less
than $2 USD/day. The GDP of the poorest 48 countries is less than the
3 richest people in the world. Less than 1% of the world's military
budget would have been sufficient to educate the huge number of still
illiterate people. Of military budgets, the United States military
budget is more than that of all member G7 countries combined; and when
added to NATO allies' Australia, South Korea and Japan, is over 2/3 of
the world's military budget. To further cement this, the recent State
of the Union address promised the cutting of 14-16 programs, some
money of which will be redirected to military spending.
So...yes. When Jesus was discussing economics, talking about the rich
and the poor, they both were within speaking distance. They both met
at the same temple, and were present in the same city. Jesus would
find himself in the presence of both. Inevitably, the current world
power (ie. Rome) would have directed much of the world's wealth to
itself, but there were the local rich as well.
Today's economic climate presents a much different scenario. In many
western nations people move away from the poor, creating slums,
trailer parks, etc, and contrasting suburbs. In addition, with
multi-national capitalism, the poor can be pushed even further aside;
we never need to walk by the Asian families who produce our materials
on our way to the church, as wealthy Jews were forced to wade through
the poor who gathered at the temple. Outside of the country, or our
city or suburb, our responsibility to them is easier ignored.
So, returning to the point then. In missions, K.P. discusses his
personal experiences; Indians from Southern India, abandoning jobs,
families, and lifestyles, to take the gospel to hostile northern
villages, where they were beat, stoned, and cursed. It was a life
where not 10% was given to God (money, time, whatever) but closer to
100%. With a lot of what is preached today, these men and women should
be the most prosperous people alive - and they are. But they are
starving, or abused, or kidnapped, or imprisoned as well.
In contrast, he saw upon his visit to the United States (and these
apply to most Western nations), an extraordinary amount of wealth, and
an equally extraordinary lack of vision for it. Money was spent on
complete non-essentials, and once one's 'duty' was done; a mission
trip, or sponsoring a child, or giving to an itinerant preacher; one
can rest comfortably in what is left. Our giving 5%, 15%, or 20% are
given out of our wealth, and rarely requires a sacrifices of anything
more than our greed.
I'm speaking to myself here as well. Even though my wife and I
currently sponsor a Compassion child, and set money aside for both
tithes and giving, I've been convicted by a lot of what has been said.
I don't agree word for word with everything in this book, but when I
thought about it this analogy has come to mind. As the rich, our
people giving out of our abundance, our churches giving out of our
abundance, we may miss God's heart.
The focus of the book goes on to discuss the new face of missions, but
I will let you read it and take it for yourself; or perhaps when I
finish the book I'll give you a synopsis. Either way, would love to
hear your thoughts. God's blessings to all of you
Jordan Peacock
+ + +
Some sources for more information:
http://www.globalpolicy.org/socecon/inequal/2005/1222inequgains.htm
http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp
http://www.unitedforpeace.org/article.php?id=518
http://www.gfa.org/

Too long.....

2006-02-12T20:38:00.000-08:00

Sorry for being so absent. I've been keeping myself busy with new activities including:

1.More actual work on my book.
2.A new job.
3.More Bible reading.
4.Working out with my new eyetoy.
5.watching movies.
6.Reading new books.
7.Working on some writing stuff that will take some time to finish.

Get back to you guys very, very soon (with a bunch of things),

Josh

Day 3

2006-01-30T02:12:00.000-08:00

Saturday

Carl Lance

Living a life that Stands out

Is my relationship with Jesus making a difference ?

Matthew 5:14-16 now that you have been but somewhere obvious be Sure to Shine. Stand up and Stand out.

2 things to do
1.keep your passion for Jesus stirred.

2.Continue to recognise the reality of your purpose. John14:12. You are called to do greater things.

Lucinda Dooley

What will you allow your life to look like in 2006?

What will you not allow? What will you chase after? what will you change?

Do not allow yourself to be the Same. Do not allow yourself to be average. Do not allow yourself to be Contained.

Deut30 The Lord your God will make you successful in all you do......

That you and your descendants would live.

All I need to Stay fresh and alive in Him He has put before me already. it is a matter Of choice. Remember that.

What you do now affects a Stranger 20 years from now. you when youre 44. Consider the lives you come into contact with. You have the duty to be alive in Their life. Hide His word in your heart.

Read Exodus33. Moses spoke to God as a man spoke to a friend. Linger in the presence of God.

to walk in Spirit means to obey it. feed it. occupy it. embrace it. Allow it be Your Companion.

day 3 Bible Study

Acts17:25 God is not worshipped by works alone.

Paul Andrews
A Key to the revolution
David and Goliath
1Sam17:28-29 what battle? Is there not a cause?
As a Christian you have the highest cause.

When you have a cause there is much gov will do.

What will you dare for your cause?

Phil3:12-14 this is the motto Of a man with a cause.

1.Action. a person with a cause is about action.

2.Direction. They know what they are after. whence they are going.

3. Vision. Goal, prize, call.

I Cannot follow a path for my own satisfaction. There is far too much to live for. Remember when you are at work, you are at work. that There is cause and effect. You are here to equip those to do the work. Love is seen in action.

I am the Church wherever I go.

P.S. When dating apply rule 14

Day 2

2006-01-30T02:07:00.001-08:00

Morning first Session
Phil Dooley
Lets gets wasted

Take nothing with You to the grave. Get out Of yourself all that there is. If you would give your life, give it all. Waste no time.

Just as Mary Magdalen poured out perfume pour out your life for Him. Leave not even a drop of yourself. luke12.

Jesus gave every part of Himself in order that every part Of humanity would be saved.

What will you do for His cause?

For me this was a good word. One I very much needed to hear. Too much Of my life has been wasted on Things That could kill me, given the chance. And also on things that drain my passion. It is in Psalms I think that there is a quote that I think every Christian needs to memorise (I understand the irony of what I just said) “Remind me Lord, that my days are numbered.” This is a paraphrase of the Word but I think it an important quote. You are not here forever. Get on with what you need to finish.

Morning Second session

Andy Anderson
Forgiveness

forgiveness is not simply in the moment but in walking in trust Of what He has done, following His example.

Jesus did not withhold forgiveness from even Those that crucified Him.

To give forgiveness gives you freedom just as you received His. To hold an offence against a man is to hold it against God.

There are Three places in life to stand. Forgiving, forgiven and unforgiving. Occupy the first two, keep away from the first.

Understand your guilt before God. That saved a wretch like me. if life brings you to your knees be thankful. You're in The best place to pray.

Friday Evening

Giving
Matthew14:19
Equip the Saints to to the work.

April
Being a pioneer (revolutionary)

A pioneer, one that brings new ideas, Starts new trends, forges a new way.

You rarely paVe a Way for yourself.

1Sam17:1-end
Consider Goliath to be or symbol of that which intimidates you. dont ever feel that you are too young for the battle. You are in the army of the living God. You cannot be defied by your enemies. What is it that you consider impossible for you to Complete? Do not be bound by fear. Take the new ground.

1.He was prepared. Ready yourself. What you have now steWard well. By being faithful in The ordinary you are open for the extraordinary. Be ready everyday for the one day moment. today is indeed one day. Consider this, Steven Bradbury trained and worked hard despite the fact he was not hopeful of Victory.

2.David had the right motives. don't work to impress the people around you. Serve the King, give your life to me cause.

3.He was passionate. what are you passionate about? Then be perfectly passionate. Enjoying, dedicated, always pushing forwards. Regardless of whatever comes against me I will not back down in living for God.

4.He Knew his God.

Don't let another mans burdens weigh you down. (Saul's armour, my own revelation).

Bible Study

Acts17:2 Paul Reasoned through the scriptures.

Acts17:11 a ready mind is one that is always going through the scriptures.

Acts17:16-17 when Paul's spirit was stirred he got up and did Something about it.

Summer Retreat

2006-01-30T02:07:00.000-08:00

Ive decided to keep a journal of summer camp. I don't just mean a Written collection of each days events (though iF it is worthy of writing down I will) but also a chronicle of how I have been changed, words given and received and basic notes from the meetings.

What do I really want from my time up here? Not simple encouragement or a hype up for the year. Those are great but they are not the whole of what I am after. I want to be Changed. I want to live everyday becoming more intimate with God. I want everyday to be doing the works I need to be doing. I want to be finishing the changes that have been begun in me.

Bible Study Day 1

Acts16:5 they established Churches, they didn't dedicate buildings.

Acts16:6-9 obedience is not just in What you do but doing it when it is granted to you.

Acts16:18 Be careful of who you let speak over you. Even your enemies may praise what you do.

Acts16:25-26 men with God on Their side can shake a city and Set captives free. Regardless of Their situation.

Thursday Night
Chrishan J
Welcome to the revolution

Judges7:1-7
Gideon
When God gives you a work to Complete He wishes it done on His terms. Gideon and the Israelites were thinking to win the battle in God’s name using their own strength.

Always be ready for the battle. You can take the time to recharge but don’t forget to go back into the fight. What Chrishan pointed out here, that no-one has ever pointed out before was the way that the Israelites drank their water. They drank it like a dog. Now, never having had a dog before (I had brothers, they’re close but not exactly it) I have never really had the chance to see a dog drink water from it’s bowl. It will drink for awhile, and then have a look around, making sure its water is safe. It is always ready for action. That is how we need to be

IF it doesn't bring Christ don't take it. Stay away from it. Decide now the path you will take.

Fasting and Deprivation

2006-01-30T01:39:00.000-08:00

I meant to post this much earlier than now but due to circumstances beyond my control I find This is the earliest I will be able to finish it.

Boris Pasternak once remarked that the greatest motivating force for making men better men was not simply sheer will moral power that kept them from evil but was instead the gentle call for good that exists in each of us. His exact words were “What has for centuries raised man above the beast is not the cudgel but an inward music: the irresistible power of an unarmed truth, the attraction of its example.”

During the fast I just finished this was a truth that became amazingly evident to me the more I pushed myself through it. As I said earlier on here, I actually failed. I failed because I relied on that one extremely fallible commodity, my own will power, rather than putting all my trust in the quiet call of God that resides in every Christian. It is with every passing day that I am now discovering the strength of that same thing.

So my fast has at least lead to one good thing. I have learned how strong I am in one area and how to be weak in order to be made perfect. Not a bad thing to learn.

Josh

Truth and Freedom

2006-01-15T16:22:00.000-08:00

There are times when my own brilliance produces amazing ideas, the likes of which are able to leave tracks of fire across the minds of those that witness them. You guys can relax, this isn't one of those times. In fact, my contribution to this posting was mainly in thinking up a few words to put a frame on a concept. The concept (and consequent philosophical groundwork) was given to me by Fran who has been a constant blessing to me.

A few days ago I was chatting with her and she told me that she had had a revelation. The scripture she refered to was "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free." These are words of great truth and like all words of great truth, have alot of meaning to them. The meaning that she gleaned from them was that the amount of freedom one has is related to the amount of truth one also has. I stopped to consider how very true (and therefore liberating) this was.

A few examples might be helpful here. CS Lewis once pointed out that our beliefs and perceptions have rather a large amount of influence on the way that we live our lives. The example he used was that of a husband and wife. A man that blindly loves and trusts his wife may not be prepared to accept that she is unfaithful to him, despite the fact that the signs around them may abound and his friends are telling him that they have seen enough to know the truth. On the other hand, a man that is convinced of his wife's infidelity will see signs of such at all times, regardless of the actual truth. One can see that should the suspicious man find that his wife is completely faithful to him and accepts it as the truth, then he as indeed been freed from that hideously thing we call paranoia. On the flip side, should the other man find that his wife has been unfaithful he has been freed from deception. While this may be a painful freedom, it is the kind of freedom that leads to other freedoms. And while we may hate a painful freedom, we must understand that a painful freedom is better than a pleasant slavery.

The amount of freedom one has is equal to the amount of truth one must shoulder.

Josh.

Philip

2006-01-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile. Sorry about that.

A few things that I should update you guys on. The first being that I have kind of failed in my fast. I've played a few games of pool on yahoo games. I'm not proud of my failure, though the fact that I lasted so long I like to think is pretty good. But why do we fall down? So we learn how to pick ourselves up again. I'm going to do my best to keep going with it though. On a postive note my Bible reading has been absolutely amazing of late. My sunday devotionals (which I told you guys I would be starting) have by far been the absolute best times for reading and quiet time that I have ever had. How awesome is it that as we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. I'll post some stuff from my journal on what I have gotten out of sundays soon but this is one that I didn't think it would be a good idea to go too much longer without posting.

In Acts, chapter 7, we find that Philip went to Samaria to preach the Gospel. This would not have been long after the death of Jesus. I read that he went, he preached, they repented and believed. Just like that. Now Philip was a pretty amazing kind of guy, he's definetely someone that I should do some more research on. Help anyone? I was sitting there, in my car, reading what he did and I got the inkling that God asked me what the guy had taken with him to preach with. He didn't have a Bible, as we know them now. He more than likely would have had the old Testament but he would have none of the letters. There might have even been huge parts of scripture that he didn't know. Considering the average amount of education amongst the twelve at that time I am thinking that more than likely the gaps in his doctrinal education would have been huge (if I'm wrong please tell me). He had no PA system, no interesting kind of media, nothing to use as a hook to draw people in. He didn't even have the Hillsong worship team (fine bunch of people that they are) to get the crowd into the right spiritual mood to be open. At that time, the cutting edge of advertising technology was the town crier or your neighbour. In other words, they would not have even known that he was on his way.

So what do we have? An uneducated, untrained, unknown young jewish guy (young being under fifty, though I like to think that anything over 25 is old, hi Fran, Hi Rich!) just going out somewhere, getting on a soapbox and preaching to a bunch of people that had more than likely had enough from jews telling them how they should live (the samaritans and jews didn't get along. Jews called the samaritans dogs, and I don't mean "Yo, my dawgs." I mean dogs as in filthy animals).

The fortunate thing is that Philip didn't need any of those things in order to be effective. He already had in his hands what he needed in order to get through to people. He had his personal testimony of his relationship with God through Jesus Christ and he had the Holy Spirit with him (in later reading Philip ran after and caught a chariot and was taken up and transported by the Spirit).

After reading this I sat there and thought for awhile. Damn, I thought. He didn't have any of the useless little things that we in this day and age have attached to christianity that Christ would have told us not to bother about. He simply had the message and the Spirit, he was a man that had the faith stripped down to its bare bones. He gave all things into the purifying fire that consumes every part of us in the Name of God.

God, that I could do such a thing and be such a man.

Josh.

There's going to be some changes around here

2006-01-10T02:19:00.000-08:00

Well, this year I wanted to do some different things with my blog and there were a couple of things I didn't mention before as resolutions. I want to study latin and read alot of George MacDonald. But enough about me, lets talk about you.....

I'd like to open this blog up alot more to others so that they can have their say. Brother Sharky, I would like for you to post some of your evangelism on here. It needs to see alot more people and alot more people need to hear about it. Craig, I know you are busy but if you know anyone that wants to chuck some stuff on here that would be great. This includes you. Neal, Jordan, I would love you two to give me any interesting ideas or essays on interesting ideas. You guys have stuff in your heads that can help others. Andrew, I would be honoured if you would write a few things. James, I know your mind and I know your way with words, again I would be honoured to have some of your stuff here. Nata, if you read this, I think that we over here could benefit from hearing about how things are in the russian church. Rach, you're a writer, like me. Use it as and when you can.

Anyone else, that I didn't name but knows me, please contact me so I can start to compile the work. I would read over everything, before it goes on (more for spelling, gramma, weeding out heresy etc) and I will always respect anyone's best efforts.

Josh

You CAN Teach Old Dogs New Tricks

2006-01-06T21:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess that at the tender age of 24 I don't count as old (though in dog years that would make me somewhere in the range of being 168) but occasionally I guess I could use this here journal to tell you guys how I am doing rather than blow off steam or let loose with a new intellectual discourse on the nature of anything. And I have to say, I've noticed something new about myself.

A wee while back a friend of mine accused me of being the most Godly person they knew. Now, the Josh of about two to three months ago would have laughed with a sense of dark sarcasm and made light of the comment, shelving it for later when I needed something to laugh about. Or he would have launched into a melodramatic lament about how good he isn't. Whichever path he took, it wouldn't have been pretty. But here's the thing. I didn't do either. I accepted what I was told, and instead of looking at myself and thinking how wrong that person must be I was instead filled with an extremely profound sense of gratitude and responsibility.

In a way, it's kind of like the shaving mirror that mum, I mean Santa Claus, got me for Christmas. It gives me a new perspective on something that I thought I knew so well. It's coming across to me that people actually need what it is that I am carrying. Throughout the past twelve months I have been recieving alot of compliments (not about how I look, though I haven't heard anything nasty for awhile) about who I am and the influence I have been having in people's lives. I am not writing this in order to say look at me, a good man am I but I write it in order to say that I am FINALLY starting to be able to handle compliments, and not just small ones. Nice to know that after awhile God can deal with our little insecurities.

Josh.

p.s. and to my friend, who accused me of such a thing. Thanks. Never surrender, especially not now. There is too much that God has put in your life that the rest of us need.

Not something you would find in the dictionary

2006-01-04T04:03:00.000-08:00

Recently I got asked a great question that I had never really sat down and been asked. "What is it that defines a good leader?" Now many, when asked this question would do the same thing. They would watch the so called (not saying that they aren't good, but hey, I'm suspicious) good leader to see what they did, how they did it, what kind of life they lived behind the scenes etc. These are fine things to do but it is missing one rather important facet of leadership.

To a degree however, this is the right approach. If we look at Jesus as a leader we can see pretty well the perfect leader. He gave clear instructions (when it was the right time to do) but also gave his followers a challenge and things to work out on their own. He never allowed Himself to be distracted by what didn't matter and He knew how to take the time out to recharge Himself. His sermons were to the point (compare them to some preachers that seem to want to preach till rapture and you'll see my point) and He spoke using metaphors that the crowd could understand or that He could explain fairly easily. He also did one thing that many leaders sometimes forget to do. He gave those following Him responsibility and tasks of their own to attend to. Now these are good things, and I know that as a leader myself, they are things that I need to learn to do better.

The facet that needs to be examined a little more often, I feel is that in order to define a leader as good one must have a look at those that they are leading. Let us examine a few of the Apostles (I'll be brief). Simon Peter was an angry and wayward fisherman that had a way of not keeping his word (originally he said that he would follow Jesus and then didn't; denied Jesus three times and then went backt o being a fisherman for awhile). Matthew was a tax collector (the connotation that they would have given this is quite different to how we would see it. To have been a tax collector for the roman government was akin to being a traitor to one's people, it was also more than likely the kind of position that would quickly be abused in order to enrich the person in that position). Saul who became Paul, a man that had first assissted in killing christians and would have begun something like the spanish inquisition (the Semitic Inquisition just doesn't have the same ring to it) but instead was converted in an amazing way and wrote two thirds of the New Testament. Peter, as I said before, was a man quick to give his word but not very good at keeping it. Yet Jesus called him a Rock (little rock to be precise) that He would build a church on. And we see that Peter became the kind of guy that you WOULD ask to help you build a church. He was passionate, caring, faithful (not perfectly, but hey, anyone here perfect?) and he gave his life to the cause. Matthew turned from a life of extortion and huge financial security, a life where he was bleeding his own people dry to write a gospel which set his people free. Paul. What can I say about Paul that hasn't already been said? Of all the Apostles, he actually had the most going for him. He was from a good family, was well educated, was well respected, had the right connections, just about a full house, so to speak. And he put it all behind him to follow Christ. In fact, he counted it all as dog crap (someone got to swear in the Bible and it wasn't Peter, as we all would have expected) it meant so little to him.

Now, if we have a look at these guys, how their lives changed, this tells us the kind of leader that Jesus is. The kind that doesn't let us stay as we are, but is always finding ways to make us perfect. George MacDonald once compared God to a Father (wow, a christian likening God to a Father, anyone see that one coming?) and said that God is alot like a normal father in that he is pleased to see a child take his first steps, but is not satisfied until that child is walking with a purposeful and manly stride.

Josh

A new Year

2006-01-01T02:20:00.000-08:00

Well, that went by quickly.

The best things about last year? Hmm, I would have to say that last year was the best year I have ever had for spending meaningful time with my friends. We played games, we had fun, we had serious discussions and we grew closer. In many cases, friendships actually grew alot more than I ever suspected they would. But hey, they were pleasant surprises, and so I am praising God for them. They showed House. Ahh House, eases so much pain. The fasts I have gone on have been enjoyable and edifying. I also managed to clock my 40 new books target as well. I got up somewhere near 50. Pretty good hey?

Bad points about last year? Well, Samitha went back home (missing my little sister) and I am still single. I didn't quite finish the book in totality but it is being read by some good friends who are correcting me as they go.

So as you can see, last year had quite alot going for it. Certainly much better than the year before (the year before last almost felt like a Tolstoy novel; every time I seemed to be getting up something would come along to beat the crap out of me) and we shall see what this year holds as we go.

My New Years Eve celebrations included a samurai movie, alcohol and gambling. Just what every good christian needs from time to time. Just so that you guys don't look at me funny, I went over to Neal and hung out with him and his girlfriend Britney. We watched Zatoichi, toasted the new year with some champagne and then played poker texas hold'em style until about six in the morning. I had meant to get away much earlier but we got very caught up in the game.

My resolutions or goals for this year? Easy. Better sleeping pattern and a more reliable excercise pattern than last year. To write at least 200 pages of the second book. To finish my fast. I am not looking for a woman this year (the past few years when I have said that I am I have ended up getting hurt; through no-ones fault save my own and so this year I am going to see if reverse psychology might have anything going for it) so I guess that will leave me a lot more thinking time. The big goal I have this year is to love God more. I mean, alot more. I am going to have more and better quiet times and I am going to draw as near as I can. That is the really important thing. After that, everything takes the backseat.

Josh

We would like to apologise for our break in transmission

2005-12-26T18:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah, uh, sorry guys for not keeping you guys updated.

Still on my fast. Kind of broke it on Christmas day by playing a music trivia game on the PS2 with my brothers. Not that I am going to let that stop me. As Thomas Hanson once said about fasting "Do you think God can't use you because you ate a nut?".

But what I really want to post on today concerns what I got on the big day. Mum, I mean Santa, got me a couple of very good DVD's. One is Hero, starring Jet li. Now, most Jet Li movies are very similar. Jet li jumping around beating the living daylights out of an assortment of other martial artists. There are some amazing fight scenes in Hero but they are not the crux of the movie. The movie is beautiful, moving, profound. It is as if nearly every moment is a type of poetry. The other very good movie I got was Zatoichi, a movie about a blind japanese swordsman. I am sure that mum bought me these movies based on the fact that I used to be a martial artist. A thing that I noticed in both movies was a high level of profound beauty in the major scenes. These movies (along with movies like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and House of Flying Daggers) did that which Hollywood usually sucks at. It managed to present a story and fill it with not simply exciting bits (the fighting sequences in both are very, very good) but they managed to present them as a form of poetry. Also unlike many Hollywoods, they were able to present highly emotionally charged scenes and not make them seem cliched.

I would recommend both movies. And if anyone knows some other movies like them I would love to see them.

Josh

p.s. I already have The Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. Also a top film.

Atteeeeeen hut!

2005-12-21T02:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, day ten.

I continued my reading of Thucydides history of the Pelopennesian war. I know I started a long time ago and have been kind of reading it for awhile now, but lately God has been getting on my case for me to finish it. And it is actually quite a rewarding read.

One thing that I have noticed in the battles is that the usual deciding factor in which side won a battle was which side did something the other side didn't expect. That unexpected action was usually an action that robbed a force of its morale, causing men to flee, even if they were the stronger force. Demosthenes, an Athenian general, used this to his advantage when confronting a pro-Spartan army. He deployed a large number of his men where they would not be seen and gave them orders to ambush the force on that wing. The forces that they attacked were the enemies elite hoplites, who ran after only a few casualties. Their reaction to the attack ended up routing the rest of the army. Demosthenes had been outnumbered and his choice to deploy those men in such a way could have meant the death of his army. Consider that. What usually defeats us is not what we see before us, it is what sneaks up on us, giving us no notice of its attack. Christians, pay attention! Use everything that God gave you, especially your brains.

Josh

Nein!

2005-12-20T02:01:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't spell it wrong. I was going for a bit of a bilingual word play. I would like to point out, by the way, that usually my spelling (at least in english) is very close to perfetc.

One thing that has struck me today is that I can write and have quiet time at the same time. God's given the greenlight so I guess it is game on in that area.

I'll keep you guys up to date with how I am going.

Just remember, you don't have enough time now and you never will.

Josh

twice four, or six and two

2005-12-19T03:12:00.000-08:00

Well, sticking to the very old school Terry Pratchett idea of not saying a certain number (you guys should all read Pratchett, you'd love him), I guess I could fill you guys in with what was my toughest test yet.

Last night I hung out with Nish (friend from Seattle), Carston (boon companion of many years), Chrishan (my youth pastor), his younger brother (whose name I cannot spell), Danielle (girlfriend of Chrishan) and Rodriguez (good man and musician, and fellow blogger www.lookoutbelow.blogspot.com).

The gents opened up with some Halo 2 on the X-box. Which Josh, despite the huge temptations and validity spawning arguements of certain people didn't get involved in. No, not for one moment did his resolve fail. It wavered but did not fail. Whew.

We also played poker, Texas Hold'em style. And we learned something. Youth Pastor's can't gamble (though their girlfriends are much better). Queenslanders are pretty good at it, asians who are playing for their first time can show amazing potency (Rodriguez did well, far too well in my humble opinion) and really show some backbone when they want to go home. I did pretty good, only going down because Rodriguez managed to flop a 6 when he needed to. But again, youth pastors just can't gamble. Really. They're not bad at Halo, but they can't gamble.

For me not playing Halo was actually quite a test. It wasn't so much the peer pressure to to verify the fact that I was a better player than some of those who were playing but it was there, right in front of me. But, like an alcoholic turning away a drink, I turned away the xbox controller and sat back to watch the game and hear the trash talking.

Josh

se7en

2005-12-17T19:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, a whole week without computer games.

The funny thing is that I have started to really enjoy books again. I mean, really enjoy them. I have also had some very good quiet times as well. It seems like whenever I put myself on one of these fasts I take a huge step forward and suddenly God is there in a big way. And I mean BIG way.

My strength seems to be falling away fairly quickly though, and it is sometimes quite stressful to keep myself going how I am. As the Bible says however "God will not allow you to be tested beyond your ability to endure" It's in there somewhere, towards the back.

Josh

5 and 6, together at last

2005-12-17T03:07:00.000-08:00

Despite the fact that this post is supposed to cover two days it is going to be pretty short.

I'm tired.

At the moment I am finding it partially difficult to find a release for stress and a winding down type activity. My brain is very very taxed from work but I am not allowing it the easy way out.

Keep praying, keep loving, keep doing what you have to do.

Josh

p.s. Don't worry, I'm okay, just fairly tired. I got some e-mails I wanted to get done tonight so I am keeping this short and to the point.

4 days over

2005-12-15T03:34:00.000-08:00

I guess some of you may have noticed that instead of counting down the days (as I did in my previous fasts) I am counting upwards. Sometimes, you've just gotta do things differently, have the piano on the other side of the stage, so to speak.

I've already been thinking about what the next fast might be. 40 days without caffeine. Well, without tea, coffee or coke. I'm still having hot chocolate. I suspect if no books, no internet or no computer games doesn't turn me into a quivering mad wreck then perhaps being deprived of my favourite stimulant might just do it. Of course, by that time I intend to be playing games again so I might have some kind of release for those feelings of bloodlust.

It's funny that Paul noted that he beat his body into submission every day. For me, forcing myself into a lifestyle of a minor kind of deprivation is one of those things that forces me to think about the important things. It's also worth noting that by disciplining myself in one area, many others come back into line as well.

At the moment I am tired and I am breaking one of my rules by being here right now. But sometimes, you just have to spit over the line.

Josh

3 Days down

2005-12-14T01:01:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today mainly about the nature of any fast. It is not and cannot be a simple refusal of something that one does not have. That's not fating at all. That's like the story of the Bible College student who, not having enough money, decided to fast until such a time as Cell group/fellowship group meeting where the leader brought out sandwiches. The student quickly devoured six sandwiches and was then made to explain her strange actions. Not eating when you don't have food is not fasting. That is simply starving. It also is not simply the laying down of an activity that one doesn't really care about and using one's time more effectively (good time management is a fine thing however) nor is it being rid of a bad habit that one loathes for a certain time. As admirable as that is, it is not a fast, it is abstinence. A fast is putting aside something that one likes, enjoys, perhaps even loves in order to serve the highest and best of loves.

Anything other than that, while good and good for you, is not a fast.

Josh

2 days in

2005-12-13T03:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, so right now it is the second day of my fast.

The only game I am really missing is Rome Total War, and that is because I quite enjoy both the opportunity to lead men in a long campaign of fighting and conquering and being called either "Chief" or "Warlord" holds quite an appeal for me. The good new is that I am not going nuts. Not yet anyway.

The main thrust of any fast though is not simply to not do something for awhile, it is to replace that time taken doing something that might not be fruitful and turning to God more with one's time.

Josh

Another one, to take the year out with and bring in the next

2005-12-12T02:01:00.000-08:00

I have decided that there is at least enough days in the year (plus at the moment I am feeling stretched so why not push myself a little further) for one last forty days of fun.

I am going to go 40 days without computer games.

I know, intense eh?

I'll keep you guys posted.

Josh

So is you or is you ain't......

2005-12-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

This is one of my harder to read and to write entries. But as hard as it may be for you to read, trust me, it is far harder for me to write. This also will not be a very funny post but I promise a few light moments to lift your spirits.

If you are easily offended I am about to use a naughty word, so you may want to avert your eyes. Hypocrisy. There it is. Hypocrisy, hypocrite. Many of us knoww here these words come from (they are greek words) and just about all of us kind of know what exactly it means. But, for the sake of clarity and accuracy, I will use the definition provided by the good people of www.christiananswers.net. Meaning: one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not; a dissembler in religion. To Jesus, this was among the worst of things to be. There are plentiful quotes and stories in the Bible we He was either denouncing men in word or in deed of their hypocrisy. With all of this in mind, I believe we are now prepared to move on.

I would say that the greastest sign of a growing hypocrisy in our lives is how we act after having done wrong. Do we truly repent, or do we give an excuse. Not my fault, way of the world, everyone else does it, no-one understands me, I was lonely, I was upset and of course, No-one's perfect (bloody hell is that ever a good one). Funnily enough, these don't cut it. As the Bible says, if we admit that we have done wrong we can be forgiven, if we say that we are without sin then we are still in sin. You can only be granted forgiveness if you are prepared to admit that you were in the wrong. Hypocrisy in us starts when we try to excuse the inexcuseable rather than be forgiven for what is unforgivable.

Paul in his second letter to the Corinthians stated 8Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— 9yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. For me, this passage here was an inspiration and a revelation of how best to correct one's character. Ecclesiastes states that there is a time for everything under the sun, for joy and for sorrow. I am easily able to agree with this and say that sorrow is something God gave us in order to keep us honest, to expose the truth of our hearts. One of the greatest things a human can feel is remorse, or guilt. That sense of understanding that says, "I have done wrong against God, I must repent." as long as it stays that way is honest, leading one back to the ways that one should be following. If it becomes a feeling saying "I have done wrong, I must repent so that my life's work is not ruined, so that people will not look at me badly." this I would say is the stirrings of hypocrisy. One of these leads us back to God, the other sends us along the path to trying to please man.

One of my favourite quotes when it comes to dealing with hypocrisy is from Tolstoy "Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies. If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side! If it is not the right way, then show me another way; but if I stagger and lose the way, you must help me, you must keep me on the true path, just as I am ready to support you. Do not mislead me, do not be glad that I have got lost, do not shout out joyfully: 'Look at him! He said he was going home, but there he is crawling into a bog!' No, do not gloat, but give me your help and support." (trust a russian to talk about getting drunk; Hi Nata!) Tolstoy was an interesting guy. He took a public vow of chastity several times and had sixteen children. CS Lewis, one of the greatest theologians of the last century (the 1900's) drank, smoked a pipe, swore (he was irish, drinking and swearing is what we are good at) and he married a divorced woman. Both of these men knew themselves not to be perfect yet I believe they loved God with all they had.

Consider this only a kind of pre-emptive work. I'll finish it later.

Josh

Funny What You Might Hear.....

2005-12-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

I'd like to apologise to everyone for not updating in aaaaaages.

I've been far too busy, far too obsessed with writing (I haven't finished, one good reason being that my computer decided it needed some quiet time) and reading some interesting books.

But enough of my carrying on about my failures (which would take a long time), let us get to the point (or at least I will get to the point and you can read and hopefully enjoy).

I was walking through Parramatta to meet up with a friend that I hadn't seen in ages and I heard a man say that he wanted to start a church of his own. I was about to pause in my walk and discuss comparative theology and philosophy with him when he completed his next sentence with "The church you have when you're not having church." I decided to contiunue on my way but I kept the statement in my head anyway thinking it an interesting one. What exactly does it mean to be having church when not having it? Well, perhaps I should answer the question of what it means to have church, and take my example from the early church.

The early christian church met in a variety of different houses all over the city, not limiting themselves to a single place. So the church can't just be a building, as lovely as buildings are they are simply well placed stone and steel. And Jesus Himself was distraught when His disciples remarked about the fine temple in Jerusalem. Buildings are fine wee things but they can't be the be all and end all of church. We've already been told that. And church is not simply a weekly ceremony that we participate in because that is what we do. The Pharisees were very good at that and Jesus wasn't satisfied with just a weekly attendance and a capacity to follow some rules. So what was the early church all about? We know they didn't have a building, and that they were told not to simply go through the motions and follow traditions of man. But what were they told to do and what did they do? Simple, they were told to love each other and to love God. This was how people would know they were truly disciples.

I can almost imagine it now, all of them gathered together in each other's houses. CS Lewis once described friendship as being akin to a conspiracy and I can almost imagine the first days of the early church being similar. Their meetings were not in secret, though they were in private. Their was a closeness there, an intimacy. They shared everything they had though they would have had little in common. There would have been labourers, merchants, free men and slaves all gathered together in one room under one roof to worship one God.

Josh.

What We Despise in Others

2005-11-23T01:30:00.000-08:00

Is usually what we see of ourselves in their lives. Think about it.

You can stop now.

Last post I asked the question what is it that non-christians expect from christians and I suppose it would onyl be fair and balanced if I follow up with a post on what christians expect from christians. In order to do this, I had to talk with other christians. Shocking I know.

Brad told me that he believed the first thing that christians should do is get along. I thought I would drop you guys a bomb first time round, just to make you jump. Now, I want everyone to be honest. Who here knows someone at church that they don't like, or has met someone at church that they didn't like? Thought so, just about every hand here is up. Including mine. I think it is a crucial fact that we christians get along with each other. If it wasn't, Jesus would not have gone to the trouble to point it out. Our fellowship is one of the greatest strengths we have. We are called on to help each other with our burdens, encourage each other, laugh with each other, eat with each other, be in fellowship with each other and to grieve with each other. The amount of blessings that have come into my life because of the actions of other christians are too many for me to count. So guys, can't we all just get along?

Cameron brought it down to immense basics. That we should pray and talk to others about God. In one sentence he said what I would use at least two paragraphs to say. Basics, but essential basics. Jesus said in Luke (I think in chapter 9 or 10 maybe 11) that we should clean the inside of the cup first. He also said that the first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. The greatest commandment we have is that we build our relationship with God. We do this through constantly talking with Him, in our quiet times, in our praise and worship times. The Bible says that we are to pray without ceasing. Prayer is not a monologue, it is a dialogue. We are to always be listening, sometimes be talking. If we continue in that, we'll find the other half of that easy. Talking to people about God. In Luke chapter 8 (maybe 9, outside 10) Jesus says that we are to be a light, sitting on a lampstand. We are here to witness to those who are not yet saved.

Yun, sorry dude, but you are going to have to type what you thought in the comments section. I should have written all this down.

And so we come finally, to what I expect from christians. I don't expect them to be perfect. All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. But I DO expect them to try as hard as they can to get as close as they can (I also expect this of myself). This isn't a form of legalism. It is that our faith is shown through our works, the way we do what we do. That those who truly love God will obey Him (Jesus said that, John, somewhere). Now guys, I am not saying that I always do what I am told, because I don't. I get stuff wrong. But thank God for grace and thank God for His love. For Love covers a multitude of sins, His Grace is sufficient for me and in my weakness His strength is made perfect.

So, what is it that YOU expect from christians?

Josh

So Whatcha Whatcha Whatcha Want?

2005-11-13T14:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the attempt to phonentically spell out the last lines of a Beastie Boys song didn't go that well. But hey, I tried. Any marks for effort?

I was sitting on the train today reading my Bible and I overheard a conversation between a couple of lads and one was talking about having to go to church for the wedding of his sister or somesuch. It was fairly clear early on that he was not a christian but what truly got me thinking was how exactly that he remarked about what was said in the church. They were constantly talking about Jesus. This was not something he as completely unprepared for, as he said "I thought you know, it's a church I guess they're going to talk about it here and there but they were talking about it all the time." This kind of made me think a bit. What exactly do non-christians expect from christians?

If I listen to the guys here at work (not always recommended but now and then they say something worth listening to) then christians are people that are supposed to look after themselves. My boss once told me that he didn't think christians should be the type to over indulge in junk food as they should be taking good care of themselves. A bloody good point, I thought. I thought then I was making an effort to eat well, now I am really trying to. I sometimes eat what I shouldn't but hey, we all need some chocolate cake now and then right? One asked me why I didn't shave my beard more often to keep it neat and tidy and I told him that I hated shaving and was too lazy to do it every morning. He said that christians shouldn't be lazy at all. I thought how very very true nd so now I need to seriously re-evaluate my work ethic (granted I understand the irony of saying such a thing being that I am writing this on work time). So in short, what does the non-christian world expect from us? Simple. That we walk our talk, practise what we preach and have the balls to stick to what we've started (if you're a woman then I suppose you'll have to find something else to have).

At the same time though we shouldn't simply blindly do what the world tells us to do. If we do, then we are essentially taking the authority of our lives from God's hands and putting it into the hands of an imperfect human being. Didn't we become christians in order to get away from that?

I'll try in my next post to see what christians expect from christians. Anyone got any good stories? Email them to me if you do.

Josh

After awhile even I can learn something

2005-11-08T16:15:00.000-08:00

This week my local library is having a sale on old books that they want to get rid of. Among the wide and wonderful titles was "The History and Properties of Concrete." Wow. Wonder why they would be wanting to sell that one. Also there were quite a few copies of "Accounting Practices" for sale, a bargain at only 50c. Again, my mind boggled as to how people (including myself) were able to just walk by these gems without picking them up.

This really has nothing to do with what I wanted to write about but it was fun and I am bored.

One thing that I have noticed about myself these past few weeks is how lax I am getting with my sundays. Yes, I turn up to church twice, serving in the mornings and being fed at the night services but that isn't enough. Sunday is the day when I should more open and attentive to God, not the least. On sunday, I am less rather than more likely to have quiet time and read my Bible in a personal manner. This is not something that I can afford. So, starting this week, I am going to start what I call the "JOSHUA ZUGAI 25-30 MINUTES OR SO OF PRIVATE DEVOTIONS!!" Not exactly the most catchy title but hey, work with the illusion.

I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

Josh

Ultimatum

2005-11-02T23:43:00.000-08:00

I have decided. Come hell or high water this month I will finish my book without failure. I have wasted too much time not writing it.

Please pray for and keep me encouraged and accountable.

Josh

A Little About The Nature of Ignorance

2005-10-31T16:02:00.000-08:00

This morning I was fortunate enough to find two things that I had been looking for for quite some time. The first was my pair of sneakers. The second was my other pair of work shoes. Now I think that the question that is asked without really being asked is "Why was I looking for them?" The answer is simple. I didn't know where they were. Profound, I know. But why didn't I know where they were? That answer is not quite as profound. My mother had put them in what she had named "The Shoe Cupboard." Now, most things in the family I don't find out about until the very last second. In this case, I had never been told about the shoe cupboard at all until this morning. But now I do so I now know where she is going to hide my shoes when I leave them somewhere and they aren't there when I go back to them.

But aside from whinging about the existence of the shoe cupboard (or rather in this case about the fact that I wasn't told about it) I was more thinking about ignorance and a few of its properties. Homer Simpson once said that in his book, stupidity and ignorance were the same thing. The man almost had a great point. Ignorance where you simply don't know something is not necessarily stupid. It is simply not knowing something. Ignorance where you are actively ignoring what is in front of you because you have no wish to believe it can be exceedingly stupid, not to mention damaging. For example, a man may ignore the evidence of an unfaithful wife because he cannot bear the thought of it. Rather than settle the issue, he simply imagines that it does not exist. As you can see, this more than likely is going to make the situation worse than it is already. I believe that as a christian, it is my calling in life to learn more and more about many things, to remove ignorance from my life in the areas where I am called to walk in. In my case, as I am a writer, I need to know more about writing, the written word and how to use it effectively. So I read books by people who are known to be good. I take notes on how they do it. Because I tell stories, I need to know about stories. I need to read them, hear them, watch them. I must also be making stories up as I go. Not lying, but simply able to make up and absorb a story. If I am unaware of how all this works, then I have little chance of being as effective as I might be if I had that knowledge. Granted, I know that I have now justified the time that I use to read and watch movies and play games. With this in mind, I don't need to worry much about knowledge that someone like a nuclear physicist might need to know (chances are I will never be put in charge of a nuclear facility; I can hear the sounds of relief throughout the world) but this is an ignorance I can live with. Why? Because if I took the time to learn it I would be taking time away from learning the things I DO need to learn. The interesting thing is that the further I go with my walk, the more I find that I need to know.

I have been given the leadership of a connect group in my church. I need to find out about leadership, about how to teach the Word correctly and most importantly, who the people that I am leading really are. Without this, I am not only not helping, I am hindering the growth of those who have been put into my hands for growth. My ignorance may kill someone else, or stunt their growth.

This has been only a small piece of writing about a large subject. But then, there is alot about ignorance that I simply don't know.

Josh

An Eye For Difference

2005-10-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

Well, sorry guys but I have been meaning to update much more rapidly than I have been lately. Oh well, enough belly aching.

There were a number of things that I noticed in Perth that are different to Sydney and a few things that I missed while I was over there. This is kind of a shortish list of the most obvious ones. I'll start with the differences.

1.Perth is really small and quiet compared to Sydney. No surprises there I guess.

2.There is a huge lack of ATM's in Perth compared to Sydney. It took me about ten minutes to find one by blind wandering.

3.The public bus transport system kills ours. Their infrastructure is better and they have a lower population.

4.A near complete lack of franchise coffee shops. Not amazingly surprising but still, I noticed.

The things I missed most of all.

1.My home church. I enjoyed Rise (It was more beneficial for me to do Rise than Hillsong this year and as the Shepherd speaks so the sheepdog runs) and being at Church Together was amazing but I really, really missed you guys. I was almost crying I missed my church so much.

2.GJ's iced coffees. Trust me, I could have used these.

3.My library. James' and the library of his family were nice but seriously deficient in their FQ (fantasy quotient).

4.Video games. I missed these a bit but being away from them for awhile has helped me not play them as much.

5.My writing. I really missed those guys.

6.YOU GUYS!!!! When I say I missed my church remember that you guys ARE the church. The people that I see each week are tied too closely into my heart for me to be away from for too long.

7.House. Not that they don't have it over there, but I missed it last week. D'oh.

8.Those wonderful people I live with. It's pretty amazing that they let me hang out there still, considering how long I have lived there.

Oh well, love you guys, will post again soon.

Josh

Days two and three

2005-10-21T01:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I was fairly tired last night (where I say tired read absoloutely exhausted) and so I didn't really have the presence of mind to try and update. Sorry. I'll try to rectify that now but please note that while I may be skipping over alot of details I am trying to get everything done as quickly as possible.

Well, the second day began with some excellent devotions. I go some cool stuff that I am going to be meditating on (I am going to go over all the notes that I have taken already and reconsider them for at least a week or so). I also managed to get my phone back. Which is very, very cool. See, I keep telling you guys that God is looking out for me. How many times is He going to have to resuce me from my own stupidity before you guys see this?

Well, the other cool things about yesterday were the night sessions. The first sessions was very cool with josh getting some great notes. As it ended I sat there and kind of said to God "You know God, I just wanna go back now, do some thinking, some internet stuff and get some sleep. Is that okay?" God replied. "Josh, you can do that. OR, you can stay here and be touched by the Holy Spirit in a way that you have never before experienced." I stayed. And God was true to His word.

Today managed to have its own adventures. I met a whole heap of people from the blog (hope some of you guys enjoyed it as well) and my older brother called to tell me that he just got engaged. Much rejoicing.

The other cool thing about this conference is that God gave me an even better ending for my book that I could have ever imagined on my own. I guess I can't spill the beans here but worry not. When you buy the book, you can turn to the last page and have a quick read and tell me what you think.

Right now I am very very distracted because I have to go again soon and I am trying to get everything done before having to head back out. But I do promise ya'll that I will put something on here that I gained from the conference.

Josh

The first day of Rise

2005-10-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

Whew, what a day.

I mean that.

An early start to what I thought would be a day where I thought I could kick around Perth a little and find out how long it would take me to get to the church. Well, I DID find out how to get there. But I did manage to miss a morning session. Also on the plus side, I did have a really nice walk along the esplanade.

The sessions were brilliant and have given me a lot to think about and pray about. So that is all well and good, I suppose. In fact, the guys in my CG may be on the sharp end of somethings that I have been playing around with that I need to become more serious with. So guys, look out.

I did get to wander Perth for a bit. Which was more fun than you guys might think. I had a nice iced coffee at a little cafe while reading one of James' Bill Bryson books ( I intend to read at least three of them before I head back) and I managed to visit an almost completely automatic toilet. This, my friends, was freakin' awesome, trust me on that. Now, some of you guys have been making phone of my phone. My near indestructable, very cheap, very reliable, almost completely no frills phone. I lost my phone on a bus. Some guy found it and called my mum (oh indignity of indignities) and I have arranged a time and place to collect it from him. Yeah, well done Josh.

Anyways, I am tired and wanting to get some sleep soonish as well as finish palying Kingdom of Loathing for tonight.

Sleep well ya'll,

Josh

The kind of the first day most certainly part two

2005-10-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well, aside from the fact that the title sounds like I have some kind of Alzheimers ( fact my mother may want to try and encourage after one of today's little events) I felt it only fitting that I tell you guys about the trip over to Perth and my thoughts about the place.

Well, the trip was more than fairly tedious. Really. Fortunately I kept myself well entertained with a couple of books and solataire on my PDA. Something I discovered about flying Virgin is that you should either eat something substantial before getting on the plane, or you should take a sandwich or something. Because while they may call their company Virgin, the kind of pricing they have on their food and drink, let me assure you, someone (you) is being screwed.

The biggest surprise about touching down in Perth? Simple. I was imagining desert scenes, guys with camels and to lose approximately one quarter of my body weight through sweating it out. In all these things, I was mentally mislead. No desert, no camels and it really isn't that much warmer than Sydney. Ah well, I guess you can't have everything.

Well, until the next time I post (which will be in a few minutes) I'll see you guys later.

Josh

A Bold New Adventure

2005-10-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, so maybe it isn't exactly bold and the concept of going to Perth isn't exactly new but I guess that going somewhere you've never been and encountering the unexpected does kind of count as some kind of adventure.

I think it is only fair to say right at the outset of my little jaunt to Perth is that I am really unsure of what to expect. Granted, a few things I can count as a given. For example, the Rise conference is going to be awesome and I am going to learn some stuff and (let us hope) even become a better person.

The amazing thing about this trip is that already it has been proof to me of God's providence for His people. Originally I was going to have to pay just on $700 for travel purposes. Flight Centre, cheapest airfares guaranteed eh? Well my friends, I got my travel taken care of for the handsome sum of $360 care of the good people of Student Flights Australia (they cater for both students and backpackers; I like to think that I learn something new everyday and well, I do have a backpack that I use quite abit). Which is pretty damn good considering that when I had called the tickets had JUST gone on special. Also, when I needed somewhere to stay, I have somewhere to stay, thanks to that good man James Inglis and his family who I will be meeting later today (not James, I know him from CG over here but I haven't met his family yet).

Well my friends, as I sit here in my sister's house waiting to get my butt to the airport there isn't much left to say. My hopes are that the Josh you knew before now shall not be getting on a plane back to Sydney. My desire is that a new Josh, different and more streamlined than the original, shall be returning to you from Perth.

Much love guys,

Josh

What you can learn from shadows and echoes

2005-10-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

This post owes a huge thanks to Fran, for lending me her History of Psychology book. Hopefully, you guys will find it as interesting as I think this is.

It's odd to note that as humans we very, very rarely pay attention to what is happening around us. For example, my boss isn't looking in my direction right now, thereby not seeing me waste company time on personal activities. Pretty cool huh? But the main point of my musing there (Josh getting to the point with only ONE digression, this most be some kind of record) is that as christians, or people, if you're not a christian, is that we need to be looking at the world around us to see what it is telling us. Quite often, it is saying alot.

Both CS Lewis and GK Chesterton (hey I just noticed that we refer to these guys by their initials rather than their names) pointed out that alot of the christian philosophy could be find in the works of the greatest philosophers of the western world. Plato and his Republic simply went to show that an ideal society would be based on people having a purpose and following it. That the way to best encourage people to becoming their best was to ensure they were surrounded by things that would encourage them on their way to that goal. Aristotle pointed out that vice was simply virtue removed from its sphere. Zeno of Cyprus, the founder of stoicism, based a school on the philosophical approach of not seeking to extinguish emotions, only to avoid emotional troubles by developing clear judgement and inner calm through diligent practice of logic, reflection, and concentration. Epicurus believed that life could be lived with the greatest pleasure through the enjoyment of simple pleasures without over indulging in them. These philosophical approaches to life (though I have studied very, very little of them) can be drawn into christianity with very little difficulty. Consider that to be your homework, there will be a test (in fact, knowing life there will be several; try to be ready for them).

The most interesting things about these philosophies was that they were prevalent around the time of the birth of Christ. Noted Romans indulged in both stoicism and Epicureanism. Aristotle and Plato were still bandied around over the table in the homes of the educated, including some Jewish families. What I noticed here was potentially that God was getting the planet ready. The Bible does say that eternity has been placed in the hearts of men and that the world was in labour, preparing herself for Christ to come and follow His purpose. CS Lewis once wrote that Aristotle and Plato, had they known of christianity would have realised that their ideals of perfect society, of morals and virtues, of wisdom and truth were the outlying facts of the central truth.

We should, perhaps, consider that whenever God is going to move He places things around us to show that there is a movement coming. We need to be paying attention and spending our times in prayer fruitfully that we might understand the days before us.

Josh

Some more stuff that I have learned from 40 days of fun and adventure

2005-10-06T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well how very well indeed.

My fast ended a couple of days ago now and I suppose this is as good as time a any to tell you guys what it was that I have learned from it.

A bit. Mainly small lessons but important ones.

1. Changing your habits doesn't change you. However much I wish to prove Wesley wrong I need to realise that his being proved wrong meant that God was proved to be right. Our habits aren't the soul and sum total of who we are but they can be a huge factor in who we will become. God never said that our works are what sort us out. Faith is "For without faith it is impossible to please God." but this must be balanced by "Faith without works is dead." A fine line to walk but a line nonetheless.

2.You shouldn't simply chase after discipline for the sake of discipline itself. This is foolishness and it will kill you. Just as Chesterton rebuked those who said art for art's sake I believe that I must now rebuke those who say discipline for the sake of discipline. No man with greatness in his heart ever simply looked at discipline and thought "I want to be strong simply for the sake of being strong." or "I am going to put myself through something difficult and painful simply for the sake that I will be able to endure difficult and painful things." No. A man might say, "I need to get my life in order therefore I need to discipline myself" but then he is speaking of getting his life in order as being the main point. In my case I discipline myself for the reason that I wish to achieve all I am here to achieve, to say all that I must say and leave behind all that needs to be given to those who are to come after me.

3.One thing that popped up in the last few days was that we as christians very rarely get into fights whose outcome is centered only on ourselves. The victory of any christian is the victory of christendom, and the victory of christendom is the victory of God's love for the world. I suppose an example may be in order. I am a writer, and if what a few people have told me is correct, I'm pretty damn good. In my life I must overcome my base urges in order that I may complete the work that I am here to complete. Should I write all that I am here to write and it reaches out to touch people and blesses them then my victory was not won for me alone. It was won for all of those that read what I have written and have been blessed and grown by it. Consider right now what you are fighting for and the effect it will have on those to come after. What will they say about you fifty years after your death?

Josh

A bit of an odd request

2005-09-28T21:12:00.000-07:00

This post is mainly done for the benefit of all those wonderful ladies out there.

I am however, going to need as many as possible of you to respond though.

A whole bunch of fashion tips have been given to me this year from various peoples, and I was wondering.........

Any of you young women think of any improvements you would suggest to me?

Two things though. The first is that I am NOT shaving off the beard. The second is that I don't wear pink. Bad memories. Mum's fault.

I'm going to ask around a bit but if you read the blog it'd be great for you guys to comment.

Thanks,

Josh

One Way I

2005-09-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

Hey guys This is a post in two parts. I was told the Sheepdog post was a little too long so here is the first half. Enjoy.

A number of days ago I had an interesting conversation with a lad named Jeremy Shimmin. We discovered that aside from all of our more obvious differences we also have some serious ideaological differences as well. The one that strikes me most is that while I believe in things such as right and wrong he does not. Something he said towards the end of the conversation "the goal of humanity is to get back to its source, its creator." Well said, and by a non-christian, has had me thinking for awhile. Let us proceed.

If mankind exists (I'm making quite an assumption there, I know) then the first question we need to ask is as follows; was our creation accidental or was it deliberate? Is the reason for our being simply the consequence of several connected and quite crucial events that just happened as and when they should have or is there more? Being that scientific evidence points both ways I'll leave it for the time being. In order to gather evidence about the creator of man let us look at man himself in order to see Him.

Terry Pratchett once wrote (I am paraphrasing for context here) "If there really is a God out there then He would be made up of the best that we are, not the worst that we could be." (it it helps the book I just quoted was The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents). Perfect. Now if this is true, we now know alot about both God and man. There is in man an aspiration to rise above himself, to better himself. Now my friend suggested that good and bad do not exist, but that everything is simply a matter of comparison. But in order to compare such a thing as the state Of one man against another in many areas we could only say that they are different. For example, if one man is taller than another we more than likely wouldnt say that the taller man was better (a fact for which I am thankful), though we might say that he is better suited to play basketball. We would however, more than likely say that Christianity is a better moral system than Nazim (another assumption but I am hoping its okay). So if we are prepared to say that one is the better than the other we are saying that there is some kind of Standard. If we admit that there is indeed a Standard than we are saying in the same breath that there are things which fall below the standard. So if the standard is what is right, then that which is not the Standard is wrong.

Being that we have now admitted that right and wrong exist we now come to a much trickier piece of ground. Who decides which is which.

Josh

What your body tells you.....

2005-09-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

Isn't necessarily true. I went for a good morning run this week. Fairly proud of that fact. Now, as I shambled to a halt after a good 25 mins of pain and torture (I run up and down hills and I stay at a good rate, I think I covered somewhere near 3km's or so) I realised a few things that I could use in quite a few areas of life. Allow me to ramble:

1.Control your breathing. After about ten minutes of running I wanted to stop or at least slow down. I did neither but I learned a valuable lesson about the discipline of breathing. Your breathing is what gives you strength, if you can keep constant with what recharges you you can keep yourself going further. This is true not just for running, but also for life. If you are going to push yourself, ensure that while you are pushing you are recuperating your strength. Understand balance.

2.Pain doesn't hurt. Or at least, we wish that it didn't. After a decent distance you will start hurting. This is a good sign, it means that you are working and working hard. Pain is also something that can stop you if you let it rule your life. Keep pushing. When you exert yourself your body will release a whole series of chemicals. One of these is lactic acid. Now believe it or not while lactic acid may cause you alot of pain it is actually helping your muscles maintain their strength and endurance. Your body will also release both adrenaline and endorphins, my two personal favourites. Adrenaline will assist you in moving further and faster and endorphins will help you feel really, really good. What can we learn from this? Simple. In life you are going to get hurt. If you use it correctly, and don't stop you will come out of it feeling better, moving further
and much stronger. Also, when we are hurting is when God can use us powefully. If we let what is hurting us push us closer to him, then we have lost nothing and gained so much.

3.Your body is a liar. It will tell you repeatedly that you need to stop, usually long before you do. There are indeed times that you need to finish, to sit down, take a breath. But your body will always be trying to tell you a good ten minutes before you need to that you have to. It may be a liar, but it is at least a good natured liar. It does want to be taken care of (hence it makes you feel good when you do) but it dislikes what has to be done to it sometimes in order that you take care of it. Does this sound familiar to anything else? If we are called to be the body of Christ, then we must go things that, while we may not enjoy it, are beneficial to us.

Think about it awhile. And pray for me, my early morning excercises might kill me, but they WILL make me stronger.
Josh

Update

2005-09-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys for not posting in ages. Fairly slack, I know being that I even promised some really good posts this week. Rest assured, they will be finished soon. This is just a little post to let people know how I'm going.
At the moment things are going really well. I have a decent little list of things that I am quite happy about right now:

1.The fact that I have not yet had a psychotic episode due to my fast. I've been quite enjoying it really.

2.I've been sleeping well these past few days.

3.I've been getting up early in the morning to go for a walk before breakfast. For me this is quite an achievement. Getting up early that is.

4.My writing is going well also. I recently cracked the 400 page mark. Hooray for me.

5.The Cheat is not dead. So glad The Cheat is not dead.

6.Terry Pratchett has a new book coming out next month, Thud. I'm planning on getting my greasy little mitts on a copy of it.

7.The great times I have been having with God recently. This has been whenever I have sat down for some prayer and trust me, my quiet times are going seriously well.

Oh well guys and gals, that is it for the moment. The next post will be quite a bit longer than this one and massively intellectual. So you guys have been warned.
Josh

Sheep Shepherds and Sheepdogs

2005-09-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

This was originally posted at the beginning of this year, while I was reading a book by Umberto Eco. There's been a few changes in my life since and I admit I have been playing with the idea of re-working this post. I hope you guys enjoy it. Those who know me well will be able to pick me in about five seconds.

I've been doing quite a lot ofreading this year. Big surprise, I know. My feeble
attempt at humour aside, what I have been reading is quite amazing. I finished "Name of The Rose" by Umberto Eco. Awesome read, I would recommend it to people who enjoy literature, or at the least a very good book.

One of my favourite pieces of philosophy was when they spoke about the three different groups of people in the church. These would be Sheep, Sheepdogs and Shepherds. I found this philosophy fascinating and decided to expound on it a little.

Now I would ask that whoever reads this reads it to the end BEFORE I get any interesting e-mails or posts or before you get any ideas about things.

Before we can leap into any massive philosophical interestingness (thank God for poetic license), we need to define what each term means. At least, how I see it as Mr Eco suggested. Sheep, the flock, the basic congregation. To say that they are sheep in the sense that they are brainless is insulting as well as inaccurate. They are willing followers of the Word, and they believe it. They have lives outside of the church but
this does not mean that they live outside of Christ. Far from it. They are quite often the people who raise good families, hold down decent jobs (by decent I mean honest) and support those both above them and below them. They are worthy of much admiration. Then we have the sheepdog. In the work of Mr Eco, the sheepdog is a warrior, who defends the flock. In the context provided by Mr Eco, this is a crusader. I like this picture, but I think it is lacking somewhat (also I know how well the crusades went). He is also the assisstant to the shepherd, and the shepherd's most favoured work companion. But more on that later. The last we have is the shepherd himself (or herself). These men are the priests, pastors or leaders of the church. They care, they love, they lead. I think I have defined these three enough so that we may continue.

If we look further indepth for the role of sheep it is curious to see the kind of people that would be compatible with this desription. We must also see the influence that is carried by these people. The ideal sheep is very much like I have described. They embrace the church as well as the lifestyle ethics and morality that is given by Christ. To say that they do not ever question is inaccurate. Chances are, they do question. But they seek very much only the answers on basic things (granted, it is the basic things that are most important but there are indeed things outside of the basics). Which is not degrading, nor meant to be degrading, but it is accurate. They see the church and they love it. The way they relate to the shepherd is obvious, and has been much explained already. They follow him willingly, but not thoughtlessly. When it comes to the sheepdog, he is. They are those who serve in the areas of church life that people may notice unless the area starts to become neglected. I know some people who are most certainly sheep, and good ones at that. What I need to point out is that there is nothing wrong with being a sheep. You are not simply there just to make up the numbers. If your purpose is to live a good christian life and bring up good christian kids then that is a life calling right there, a damn fine one at that.

Our next person is the Shepherd. They are loving but also caring. They are leaders, but more than simple leadership, they also provide support. There is much good that can be said about these men and women. They must look both inside and outside of the flock, seeking not only to keep the flock healthy, but also to grow the flock. This they should not do for their own glory, but for the glory of He who is Shepherd to all. This being said, I suppose it is noticeable that shepherds do most of their work standing, to a degree, outside the flock. This is a necessary position for them. You can only ever watch over something if your eyes are higher than what you are looking at. I would say that in my life (when I say this I mean on a personal level) those that have been the best leaders have been (in chronological order of when I met them) Richard Mason, Carston Woodhouse and Craig Rains. Men like these love you like you are but are not content to let you stay there.

And now, finally, we reach our middle ground. Where a shepherd leads, a sheep follows, and a sheepdog does a curious mix of both. Mr Eco classed the sheepdog as a warrior, a defender of the faith. In the original context of the remark (in the book "Name of the Rose") , this meant figures such as the crusaders, or the templar knights. I choose to look upon it in a more modern context. To support my context, It is easy to look at figures such as CS Lewis and GK Chesterton. Writers, thinkers and philosophers. They defend the flock by driving off the wolves (especially Chesterton; that man was a natural fight picker). A sheepdog is in part a leader, and provides the pastor with alot of support (I would be prepared to say that while Lewis nor Chesterton ran or started churches, I am sure that their contributions meant that many that would have turned held fast) by using his or her gifts to watch over the flock as a part of it, whereas a shepherd watches over the flock while standing outside of it. A sheepdog has meaning because of the shepherd, whom he partners with, and the flock, who gives him a purpose. A sheepdog without a flock is just a dog, without the guidance of the shepherd he is a wolf. A predator, a theif. A sheepdog is summarised well in Isaiah6:1
"The wolf shall dwell with the lamb".

One thing I have noticed since writing this the first time is something I should have noticed. We are not really purely either of these three. Each Of us is a mixture Of all three, but without doubt each of us is also more attuned to one over the other two. In my case very mainly sheepdog with a hint of shepherd and not enough sheep yet. Would love you guys to post on what you think (about yourselves).

I wrote this because I was thinking about it alot, but I think it important to stress something. It's not doctrinal, merely philosophical (I say this but I also know that harmless philosophy is an oxymoron). Each of these three needs the other two in order to be. You will also notice that I did not post on the negatives of each of these. That post would be quite long, and quite unnecessary. Suffice to say, we are all sinners, saved by grace.

Josh

How much you want to be you

2005-09-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

For those of us with taste as to what to watch on tv this weeks episode of House (funnily enough I heard Med students talk about the show the next morning) should have shown us three things. The first is that the show was amusing, but that is no surprise. The second is thought provoking.

Wednesday night we watched as House gave up his pain killers for a Week. We watched him interact in a cynical and very nasty way with everyone around him. Which is nothing out of the ordinary. However, we also discovered a couple of other things about him. The first is that he is extremely strong willed. First example, is when he breaks his hand. The reason he did this is simple but a bit disturbing. Your brain him has a variety of tricks you probably didn't know about. One of the more interesting ones is that should you recieve a certain amount of pain your brain will effectively turn off That transmission. Which is helpful if you don't like pain.

The third thing we would have seen is something we can actually apply to our lives. At the end of the episode House is talking with the doctor that is his friend. The dialogue was quite brilliant.
"So what did you learn?"
"I'm an addict."
His friend tries to suggest a different type of treatment for Houses pain.
"I don't have a problem. I function. The pills mean I can work."
That ladies and gentlemen the third thing we should have seen and we can apply to our lives. Granted it is rubbish and noble rubbish at that (I'll post more on that later) but we can use this. The character House, is more comfortable with being a function than a person. Just remember guys, we are not just our calling. We are far much more than that.

Josh.

My time on

2005-09-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

Well guys and gals sorry that I have been lacking in the number of posts recently. The fast has been quite effective in keeping me productive.

So you guys can relax. A bit.

Here's a list Of what has been keeping me busy recently:

1. My writing.

2. My reading (just finished both Dantes Inferno and The Last of The Mohicans).

3. Rome total War.

4. Mums Birthday.

5. Sunday Morning Carpark.

6. Shaun of The Dead (english black comedy; I found it very funny but many wouldn't)

'I should really apologize for not updating this page sooner but without access at home it is near impossible to do so.

Thanks for all your prayers,

Josh

What you see when nothing is in the way

2005-08-25T05:11:00.000-07:00

Well well, this being the second day of my fast (it started yesterday) I have been noticing that I am starting to see some things with quite a bit more clarity. At the moment I can't share them, it is not yet time.

Rest assured That God is showing me how to deal with some things I was not sure of and that my quiet times are better than usual. In fact, He has been building alot of wisdom in my heart in a very short period Of time.

Perhaps I should take a fast from something different every 40 days. Trust me guys, this whole fasting and seeking after God thing is worth it.

Josh

Another fast, kind of.

2005-08-23T23:20:00.001-07:00

My dad has a scripture in the Bible that he likes to quote. "Just as a dog to its vomit does a fool return to his folly." Those that know me well know that I think of myself as a sheepdog. Arf arf!

All joking aside, I have found that the scripture is true. I do tend to return to my stupidities. So, in the spirit of John Wesley I have decided once again to change my habits once again. I am not going to have any internet access at home. Not for a long anyway. What I mean by long time is at least 40 days. Do I believe a mere change in a habit will change me ? Nope. But by not being in a place of temptation I will be placing myself closer to God.

This means this blog may not be updated as often and it may also mean that the length of time between emails will increase. Sorry about That. Guys please be praying for me. Any encouragment will be appreciated.Love all you guys and girls. Josh.

Thanks!!!

2005-08-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

Hey hey,

a heartfelt thanks to everyone that turned up on saturday night in order to celebrate my getting older. It's quite an achievement. Both your turning up and me getting older. I don't know how I manage it every year, but hey, there you go.

Among the highlights of the night:
1.Actually sitting down and talking to the girlfriend of my brother in Christ Carston (who I called and asked if I could blog about this; nice to see that I am now thinking BEFORE I speak). Mandy seems to be a fairly damn fine woman and a very good match for the man who is my closest friend and brother in arms.

2.Being described as a "Modern day Knight" by Brittany, the girlfriend of Neal, one of the guys in my Connect Group.

3.Recieving Strongbad Sings and other type hits from Jono.

4.Bianca's brownies.

5.The books that I have now added to my reading list.

6.Actually seeing ALL you guys that turned up in one go.

To all ya'll that didn't turn up I know did not have excuses. You had reasons. And being that I think you guys are good people I know that they are good reasons (at the moment though the best reason belongs to Nata and Samitha, Nata being in Russia and Sami being in India) and I want you guys to know we'll be hanging out soon.

Love all you guys!

Josh

The Problem of Pain

2005-08-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

Well, CS Lewis beat me to using this title but with him being an irishman I don't think he'll mind too much if I steal it off of him.

Last night's episode of House was quite an eye opener, but most especially at the end. I'll give you brief synopsis. The man that House is treating was a musician, a trumpet player to be exact, who was losing a battle with disease and because of the disease, losing his ability to play. For him, being able to play was the one thing that defined his life. It was the thing that defined him in his totality. For him it was actually more painful that he was losing his ability to play than he was losing his life, to the point where he signed a waiver stating that he did not wish to be resuscitated should he die. House, being the obsessed and ornery kind of guy that he is, was not going to let a man die.

At the end of the episode the patient that House has just cured asks, in regards to House's use of pain killers "How many of those are you taking?" House did not give a number but he gave the response "I'm in pain." The response of the patient was "Aren't we all?" A good question.

If one was prone to a little bit of speculation, and I believe that I am, one could say that House's addiction to the pain killers is not simply about not hurt. It is about more than that. What is it that doctors do? They make us better. What are the two things about being sick that are bad? The first is that our health and abilities are diminished. The second is that we are hurting. House is a doctor, a very good one, according to the show. He conquers sickness and death on a regular basis. His patients may be wheeled in but they walk out in good health. Perhaps one of the key parts of his character is that while he can cure those around him, he cannot cure himself. He can take away the pain in the lives of others, but he himself can only be temporarily freed of his.

What is that we do for, or allow in others that we would not do or allow in ourselves? Do we give others excuses and condemn ourselves?

We shouldn't. Think about it awhile.

Josh

The power of positive thinking?

2005-08-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

This post is only possible because of the book that Fran recently lent me. The history of psychology. A light and highly entertaining account of psychology in a concise and clear manner that does not waffle on in an overly intellectual and cynical manner.

No, seriously. Okay it does. Alot.

But aside from that after having read of it what I have, I am now ready to jump into some Plato and some Socrates. It should be fun.

A contention that I would have with Plato (or Socrates, I can't remember which) is that they believe that man has inside him a good and true nature and that it was through internal reasoning that one could become a better person. This is potentially true. But it may not do you any good. Now guys, I know what the Bible says. That none can lay a foundation other than what Christ has already laid and that God has placed eternity in the hearts of men. That we yearn for that perfection which is always a few inches beyond our reach, no matter how far our reach may become. But I also know that there is a sin nature within me, always trying to lead me away from the call of God, trying to sink me in depravity. I can see that you guys understand what I am saying here. What Plato suggested was that man could work it out for himself using his will and his reasoning ability.

Sorry guys, we can't.

I can bet you guys that Plato would have committed sins that he would have hated himself for. Thing that he would have never told another soul about. But he still understood something that we as christians need to understand. That we have will, we have the ability to reason and that we can use these to improve ourselves. Yet these are insufficient. As Paul said in Romans "I do what I will not to do and I don't do what I will to do." Now Paul was a fairly bright kind of guy. If we have a look at his history what we see is a highly educated young man. But even he, potentially one of the most intelligent philosophers (yes, Paul was a philosopher, he was a lover of wisdom) of his time could not ascribe to the lofty ideals that Plato set out for mankind. Indeed, no-one can. So we know that we cannot change ourselves completely through simply thinking things out and reasoning our path. We must also see that if one has a skewed percption of morality this could actually lead one further and further away from the truth. For example, if a man truly believes that he must "Look out for number one." then more than likely his reasoning will only dig him deeper and deeper into his selfishness. Our minds are good but we must keep an eye on them. As Paul also said "Bringing into captivity every thought that tries to exalt itself against God."

John Wesley (see, told you guys I would do some research) tried to change himself by changing his habits. His belief was that through changing what he did he would change himself. He found that he had only limited success in this area, in that he may have changed a few habits, but the desire to sin was still present in him and in some ways, it was even stronger than before. I can understand him. In attempts to better myself I too am changing my habits. Do I notice improvements? Yes, I do. Has this perfected me? No, I still stumble and I fall. But Thanks to God for His Grace.

So what common theme are we seeing here? Simple. We cannot bring ourselves to fruition through our own strength. It is only God and His grace, His redeeming spirit that can change us and bring us to our destiny.

Josh

We All Live in a yellow Submarine

2005-08-14T04:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, the truth is that I couldn't think of a title for this post that would use a song name that would be relevant. Or did I?

In the song, one of Ringo's proud claims is "Everyone one of us, has all he needs." Now this, is a fairly big claim. Everything you need? Really? So you wouldn't like me to buy you a cup of coffee?

This is an area where I still struggle, despite the amount of personal growth I have experienced in the past months. I am still really bad at accepting help off people, unless I really need it or it is trivial. In fact, sometimes I refuse to accept trivial stuff. This isn't a good thing, in fact, its a very bad thing. It is something that can keep you very pinned down and only wishing to use your own strength to solve your problems. Left alone, it can lead you to not asking God for help, but trusting in your own abilities.

Guys, learn how to say "Yeah man, that'd be awesome if you could help me out."

Josh

Because it's like that

2005-08-12T07:37:00.001-07:00

Hey peoples,

this post is to celebrate the dula awesomeness that is that my parents have agreed to partly subsidise party costs as my birthday present. So feel free to bring people. TELL ME FIRST HOW MANY YOU ARE BRINGING SO I CAN MAKE SURE I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD!!! Let's not forget that.

Those of you who are paying attention (and have all the revelant info) have probably noticed that my previous posts have all taken their titles from music and this one is no exception. Run DMC may have ceased performing as a group but the Reverend Run has continued his career, even promoting the Gospel as he does. I found these lyrics after a brief Google search:

God When I was alone,
and had nothing I asked for a friend to help me bear the pain
No one came, except God
When I needed a breath to rise, from my sleep
No one could help me.. except God
When all I saw was sadness, and I needed answers
No one heard me, except God
So when I'm asked.. who I give my unconditional love to?
I look for no other name, except God

These state alot of obvious truths without any unnecessary pretentions. Now I can't speak for every part of the man's life. The fact that who he may perform with is of questionable character, that he may still do questionable things. is not something I am permitted to bring into question. He is, like me, still trying to work everything out.

I think I am finding his life remarkable because here is a guy who has had everything. And it still wasn't enough with out God. He was, and still is, quite famous for his music, wealthy, married, got all the stuff that he needs. But he still knows that without God you may as well have nothing. Quite a sobering thought.

Josh

p.s. He also has a book out called Because it's like that. Just something for you guys to think about considering the time of year it is.

It's comin' up, it's comin' up, it's comin' up

2005-08-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hey ho ya'll,

in order to celebrate the fact that I am getting older I was wanting to have you guys around at my house.

My two rules for your turning up are firstly that you know me, secondly that you are well disposed towards me. I know that this limits numbers somewhat but hey, proverbs4:23 people. You can bring other peoples along but hey, remember the first two rules there. The third rule is that you tell me and give me an approximate guess as to the numbers. Considering the fact that this may mean alot of people, I may have to put a BYO for the BBQ in place. It's big so we can cook up alot of food at one time.

Saturday the 20th of this month at my house get there around 7-730pm. If you know me, you know where I am.

Josh

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

2005-08-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

I think Dave Grohl, the lead singer of the Foo Fighters put it extremely well in that song that he and his band recently recorded. I think it is also a question that christians need to ask themselves all the time. Except, maybe ask it a little differently.

Dave Grohl asks if someone is getting the best of you. Christ asks if someone is getting any part of you, even the parts of ourselves that we don't like. This has been a big area of development for me in the past twelve months. Alot of my bad tendencies, including bad temperedness, bad attittude and bad dress sense has been given up and given over to Him. Am I perfect? By no means, not yet. Will I be? Yes. This is in the Word and I believe it.

The song is amazing and goes on to say:

"I was too weak to give in,
Too strong to lose"

Guys, the Word states that "In our weakness is His strength made perfect." I will not say learn how to submit to His will and give stuff to Him. Just do it.

Josh

What we have here.....

2005-08-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

Has been a failure to communicate. The funny thing is that I intend to post about how lacking my communication sometimes is over the internet and how my sense of humour does not often translate too well into a chat format. The other interesting thing is that given the amount of time I don't have to spend on the net anymore it has made it difficult, nay, impossible, to be able to post everyday. So I am going to have to try and do it from work.

One thing I have noticed about myself this year is that I have become a better communicator. Usually in general. I now text more, email more and chat a little more with people. I am also talking to more and more people in face to face situations. My people skills have gone up quite a bit and this has been reflected in many many areas.

I am however, not yet perfect and alot of the time my intentions when it comes to my typed communication doesn't always come across the way I would like it to. So in this post I would like to apologise to everyone that I have unintentionally insulted due to MY lack of ability in this area. Sorry guys. But hey, at least you know I am getting better at actually expressing myself. This blog has been a real help in that area. Maybe one day (when I am a big and famous writer) I'll simply publish this blog in a paper format. Might bring in a few bucks.

Josh

Know when to fold'em

2005-08-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

You know, tonight I was going to post about my sometimes lack of ability to communicate well over the internet and how I need to be more careful when I try to.

But something that a friend of mine has communicated (at this point in time the friend will remain nameless they will be made aware of who they are) has made me re-think about what tonight's lesson should be.

There are times in our lives when we will need someone. I am not simply talking a life partner (though there are times when that is the case) but sometimes you just need a friend.

Now friendship is an awesome thing, and it is most certainly something that God has put in place among humans (even between Himself and humans). It is also something that I thank Him for constantly, just so you guys know. Sometimes, God will give us a long season of friendship with someone, and sometimes the season will be short. At least, in some ways. In any case, every season begins, most of them end. When sometimes God closes a season of a friendship in our lives we need not to get angry at Him (though this may happen and you should definetely talk it out with Him) but we need to be able to submit, not allow our opinions to get in the way. As Pastor Brian Houston once said "God takes away so He can give you something better."

I can only say to this person, God speed you friend. You have my love, you have my blessings and my prayers. Not a single thing you have done for me will be forgotten. I will be praying that God give you ideas, strategies and introduce you to the right people that your vision may be fulfilled.

Josh

What are you doing here?

2005-08-06T20:00:00.000-07:00

The areas of my responsibilities in life are a thing that sometimes cause me alot of grief. I am called and enabled to be a writer but I must never allow myself to become someone who says "I am a writer and that's it." When I do that, I limit myself in ways that God has no intention of honouring. Yes, I am a writer, and I sometimes need to seek some time away from humans now and then. But this cannot become an excuse or a crutch. This would not be Biblical.

One thing that I find my heart being more and more stirred by is the plight of the homeless. At the moment, there is little that I can do. I can give money to a fine institution like the Wesley foundation and I can give a few dollars here and there to the homeless people that I see now and then. This isn't enough to solve the problem. It may help a little but it does not do enough. I could join a street team but even then I would not be doing enough to completely solve the problem. As things stand in my life, it is not yet time for me to do this. Some may say that this is a cop out excuse. To be honest, I don't really care. I know more about my life than you do and God is confirming this to me. At this time, it is not yet time. When it is, I will know it and I will move. Sorry if that sounds hostile, it isn't supposed to.

But I guess the other reason that I am posting on this is the fact that at this moment I am well aware of alot of the responsibilities that are mine to pursue at this point in time. There are some things that I know are not yet time for me to embrace. And there are some things that one day it will be time to release.

I'd like you guys to consider this for awhile. What are you doing now that you would be ready to put aside when its time? What things are you prepared to take up when the time is right? Do you really think that this is all you are called for?

Josh

Another thing I learned

2005-08-06T04:33:00.000-07:00

One thing that has been jumping up and down at me this year has been how much we need to value people and take as little as possible for granted.

If someone helps me out I need to make sure that I don't become a burden to that person. I need to sow back into their life. Not out of a feeling of obligation but out of a sense of both justice and of love. If we simply take what we can from people, then we are not living lives of blessing. Simply being blessed.

Josh

A time of reflection

2005-08-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

On the basis that my own new years celebration is coming up (my birthday is in two weeks, the 19th) I have decided to do a countdown for each of the remaining days posting on events, thoughts and lessons I have learned over the past twelve months.

This may or may not take very long at all.

The first thing that has been really making my brain work is something that I read on Rich Melheim's blog a few weeks ago. This is that you should not spend time, you should invest it.

What exactly do I mean by this? Simple.

You shouldn't just do stuff, you should do stuff with a purpose.

I need to explain this better.

When I am with my friends, I shouldn't just be spending time with them, where I can think "here I am, with the guys, hanging out, no big deal." I have no idea how much time I have left to hang out with my mates. I need to use it as best I can and never allow myself to think that any time with them is common. This is the same with any of those I love. We cannot afford to spend time. Time, when spent is gone. Time, when invested, yields returns. Any friendship that I build is not simply about having a good time (though that is important) it is about how I can be a blessing to someone and how this person can be a blessing to me. Please understand, I do not wish it thought that I am encouraging a mercenary attitude of "what can I get from X?" about my relationships with people. Consider this. I have a friend, Cameron. Cameron is a disabled young man. What can I put into this friendship? Simple. Me. My sense of humour, a ride home when I can give one, a friend to talk to when he needs one, the loan of playstation games, buy him a coffee or something now and then, things like that. What do I get out of this? Simple. I learn compassion. I get to see someone grow up in Christ, and get to see them grow up alot. I get to know someone who worships with everything that he has. See, not such a bad deal right?

Think about it.

Josh

Courage

2005-08-02T05:42:00.000-07:00

A good man named Thucydides (a name that I cannot pronounce but I can at least spell it) once said the following:

"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it."

In this case, it was dancing on saturday night. In my previous post I remarked that Fran laughed at my dancing. I spoke to her about it on sunday and she said it was not because I was outstandingly bad, but that I looked cute and amusing while I danced. I know that my sense of humour is sometimes too acerbic and that I sometimes paint people as negative when I am attempting to make fun of a situation. Didn't want that to happen here.

But back to the point. Or at least, one of the points.

I feel it only fair to admit that I found the idea of dancing in the club at parramatta scary. Very scary. I know that I have admitted this already but I don't think that I gave enough justice to the virtue of courage and I would like to expound on it a little. Though I think that Thucydides already summed it up rather well. Courage doesn't come by facing down the things that you aren't afraid of. That's just picking a fight you know you'll win. Certainly logical and sometimes necessary but not essentially courageous.

Sometimes being courageous comes from getting into things where you KNOW you are going to get hurt. In some cases sparring in martial arts has left me bruised and hurting. Now, I don't like being kicked in the face. Really, it isn't among my top ten ways to pass the time. But I would go into a tournament ready for it, prepared for it. And it didn't worry me too much. I knew it was coming and that there was not much I could do about it. I never learned to enjoy it, but I did learn not to fear it. That is one area of courage. Knowing that it is going to hurt and simply trying to to worry about it.

Another type comes from when you have no idea at all. Sometimes thinking you might get hurt is worse that knowing that you will. Uncertainty is still a large factor in most people's fears. The fact that we don't know what tomorrow or even the next five minutes may bring can be a disheartening thing for anyone to contemplate. Which is why I assume that the Bible tells us to save today's troubles for today only.

I believe that George Cloony in the movie Three Kings summed up courage rather well "First you do the thing, then you get the courage you needed to do it."

Josh

Life Changes

2005-07-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Hey peoples,
(and a greeting also to those of you who are not peoples, wherever and whatever you may be)

Within the past 24 hours alone a couple of things have changed dramatically in my life.

No, I am still single. Man, I wish you people would get a grip.

The first thing that changed happened last night. Now, those of you who know me, know that I am no dancer. That I gain no enjoyment from it. One of these facts changed last night at Fran's birthday. Note that I didn't state how old she now is. That's probably best for my health. We visited parramatta for a quick bite (I had already eaten so I had a slow coffee) and then onto a club. In this case, the Latin HQ. There was alot of talking, some drinking (though not by myself) and finally.....some dancing. Of which I took part in. To the amusement of all I believe. Francia's amusement at least. I would have to say though, for a whiteboy who doesn't really dance (mainly through lack of enjoyment) I found myself having quite a good time last night. So I have to say a warm, heartfelt and sincere thanks to Fran, firstly for inviting me to the night, secondly for inviting me out onto the floor. I would never have gone out there without her there to keep me encouraged. Or at least laugh at me in an encouraging way.

The second thing that changed is that I am now a part of the carpark team every sunday morning at church. Every sunday morning. I have been given an area for which to be responsible and have been given a general idea on how it has to run. The main area that I oversee has been affectionately nick-named Siberia. I have now been nick-named Boris and am expected to speak in a bad russian accent whenever I am on carpark. This is more than acceptable. Though I will have to ask Nata for some general Russian in order to keep in character.

So my friends, as you can see, the past 24 hours have been fairly changing for yours truly. Let's see how it goes.

Josh

House

2005-07-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have finally found a show on TV that I can watch and enjoy on several levels. House. Not being a doctor isn't taking away from my apreciation at all, as most of my love of the show is the character interaction. The main character (who is extremly characterful) is Dr Gregory House, a surgeon with a razor sharp wit and a bag full of eccentricities. Hmmm, witty and eccentric, where have I seen that before?

Moving along.

House's sharp sense of humour is very similar to my own, except without alot of the brakes that I have. Remarks like "You have a parasite" to a pregnant woman and "Anasthetic does make for an astonishingly cooperative patient" to a fellow doctor are very common but quite hilarious despite the fact that you know the gags are coming. His character is also fascinating that while he has little to no tolerance for human pettiness and indeed most human contact, he is an amazingly compassionate doctor. He does not ever sugarcoat his advice or recommendations but that being said he always gives them with the intent of curing his patients. Or at least, showing them a better way to be. He is also the man to take the hardest tasks for himself. One episode had him conducting the autopsy on a baby that had died by himself late at night.
The rest of the cast are excellent, with their varied characters meshing and conflicting extremely well. Their conversations, while not as amusing, are those of real human beings, with all of the little bits of humour and comraderie that spring up between those who are forced into society with each other by sharing a work place. The production and direction is also perfect, being able to communicate the mood of a scene both accurately and poignantly. The medical facts and principles are well communicated being both insightful and educational. If you have enough time to squeeze it into you schedule I'd recommend watching it.
Josh

What I have learned from old people at train stations

2005-07-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, this post my be a bit of a long one but I'll thank you afterward for sticking around.

There's a whole bunch of things that I have learned from old people but in this case I will limit it to the things that I have learned from old people while at train stations. Funnily enough I've actually learned quite a bit.

The first thing I have learned is why you should be socially correct. I was sitting at Epping station, just reading a book (it was The Legend of Deathwalker by Gemmel) and very much enjoying it. Now, I would like to point out that I was simply sitting there, minding my own business, not forcing anything on anyone. Not causing a public or private nuisance. Really. Anyway this old woman walks up to me and begins to talk with me. Now, if you are socially correct (I'm not there yet but I am working on it) you would mark your place and then talk politely to the old woman until the train arrives and when it does simply sit in a different part of the train. I was not really socially correct at all so I simply tried to read and talk at the same time. Bad idea. I ended up giving half answers or mono-syllabic ones. And I wasn't really enjoying my book. She stated a great dislike of something (which I can't remember now no matter how hard I try) and I opened my mouth to reply. Now, the Bible says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. This is true. I am unsure of what my brain wished to say but the words that I said were "I just can't stand it when people interrupt me when I am reading." Now, all of you are more than likely thinking the same thing. Which is of course, "Well done Josh, defender of rights and champion of the people. Never again shall anyone have to suffer the pain of being kept from reading a really good book at a train station." Okay. So none of you are thinking that. Right then. If it helps, she DID stop talking to me. Which was a bonus I guess.

The second thing I learned was that I should be careful of elevators. Now, I have been riding on elevators for a long time now. Many, many years. I like to think that I have got riding them down pat. And through all these years I have never had an accident yet. I'm hoping to maintain this perfect record. However one night an old gentleman decided that I as a young man needed to benefit from some of his wisdom and gave me a strict warning "Make sure you never stand between elevator doors while they are closing because if you do they'll close and when it goes down it will tear you in half." Now, being that I was standing not too far away from him at the time and was able to detect not a small amount of inebration on his breath. I decided that smiling and nodding was the order of the day. Until I could get out of there. But still it was worth it for the lesson I learned. Late at night, walk down the stairs to Town Hall station. Don't take the lift.

The third thing I learned I learned only recently. Apparently, standing around in Town Hall station can get you arrested. An older gentleman (a different one) warned me that standing around in a corner wearing black (as I was that day) and playing solitare on my PDA could be enough for the transit cops to arrest me for loitering. Being that I was carrying a Bible that day (it was in my other hand at the time) I was kind of hoping that they wouldn't think I was up to anything.

Oh well, thats what I have learned from old people at train stations. Thanks for your patience.

Josh

Questions

2005-07-17T04:48:00.000-07:00

More than occasionally I get asked questions that make me think about the answers. Now when I say this I'm not thinking questions like "what would you like to drink?" or even "what do you think you're doing?" (even though that one generally does get me thinking). No, in this case I was thinking about what Natalie asked me in the e-mail before last.

"What does it mean to you to have a girlfriend?"

Those who know me well have more than likely heard me whinge about the fact that I am still single even after 23 years of existence. What you guys wouldn't know is that I more than likely have not put enough thought into the question that Nata has asked me. It's a fairly big one. In the spirit of making an effort to answer this question in a more accurate way here is a list that I wrote quite some time ago.

1. Must be Christian
2. Must be best friend
3. Must have sense of humour
4. Must be attractive
5. Must have own personality
6. Must be encouraging
7. Must be literary
8. Must have the approval of my sisters.
9. Must like my good friends
10. Must not be an insecure bitch
11. Must be relatively domesticated
12. Must be able to enjoy my family
13. Must have no problems with my vocab
14. Must not pick on all my strange habits, except the ones that need to change
15. Must make it clear that she is attracted to me

Now the funny thing is that I have been thinking about the past few days is that I haven't really put any thought into this matter whatsoever. I have always looked at a relationship as to what I can get out of it, not what I can put into it. Man has that EVER been confronting. I mean, really confronting for myself. I think perhaps I need to draft a list of the type of man I need to be to any woman I get into a relationship with.

1.I will be completely faithful to my partner regardless.
2.I will never raise my hand against a woman, most especially my partner.
3.I will only ever speak life into my partner.
4.I will only ever speak the truth. In the nicest way possible (that's my "honey, does this make me look fat?" answer protection clause).
5.I will do my share of the housework.
6.I will know the important dates and plan around them.
7.I will not go to sleep angry with her or have an unresolved issue between us (should she say nothing is wrong though when something clearly is and won't tell me no matter how many times I ask though I am unsure of what to do in that situation. Help anyone?).
8.I will also change nappies.
9.I will never just say "yes dear." without meaning it.
10.I will dance with her and like it.
11.I will hold her hand bag in public and NOT be ashamed.
12.There will never be a period exceeding thirty days without my doing something special for her.
13.I will not ever think of, nor treat her, as a sex object (this one should have been near the top).
14.I will listen to her and only offer advice when she asks for it.
15.I will not ever use the Bible as a means to be overbearing or domineering and I will hold myself accountable for the growth of our relationship.

There. 15 for her 15 for me. Now everything is nice and balanced. Again, thanks Nata for asking me this question.

Josh.

Food

2005-07-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am at home sick today (yes, I know; I'm a sick man) an I was doing some thinking about food. It occurred to me that different kinds of food have different roles in society, if you will. Now, this is some interesting philosophy so please don't take offence.

Shrek may have said that ogres are like onions. Perhaps. But onions are like engineers. You don't want them on their own (think of what they might do) too many is an accident waiting to happen (trust me) but they can make things work better (like most stews, soups or barbecues). Essential but you want to limit their numbers.

Mushrooms are kind of like onions. Except that they are more useful on their own or in teams with other stuff. They are also possessing of a less harsh type of flavour. Think of them as onions but with a better social conscience.

Potatoes are like Stephen Chow, Ben Stiller and Mel Brooks. There is nothing they can't do. Boiled, fried on a barbecue, mashed, roasted or fried up as chips they retain the ultimate dignity of the vegetable world.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings.

Josh

A little collaboration

2005-07-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

Due to my tendency to take a joke a little too far at times this post is dedicated to the efforts of someone very special in my life. A very good and valued friend.

Fran.

Again I am posting and again I intend to quote her. Accurately and providing context for the quotes.

"You are a beautiful person. It was great to see you."
Fran may say that she is not the most compassionate of people but this message was something that truly lifted me for ages. The context of this txt message was she and her younger brother Michael had come over to my house along with some other friends of mine. It was a great night of socialising and fun was had by all.

"Read your blog you are not just a good man but an extraordinary young man and I will tell my cute single girl friends."
Again Fran has sent a message of encouragement which also had me laughing when I got it. I value this txt because aside from the humour involved, it told me stuff I needed to hear. From someone I trust a lot. The context was, as she puts it, just after she had read my blog.

Thanks again Fran.

Josh

To every season...

2005-07-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to the special "Be Nice to a Queenslander" day special edition of my blog. And after last nights origin decider, I think that Queenslanders will need us to be nice to them. Extra special nice. I shouldn't gloat, really. Let us simply say that some days you're a pidgeon, some days you're a marble statue. But enough about a game of rugby league. Let us get down to business.

I would like to point out to just about everyone that while I am quickly approaching the end of this season in my life, I am also enjoying it quite a bit now. How do I know that it is ending? It is becoming obvious. I am changing and I have changed. While once I would have considered it not a bad thing to pull an all nighter playing games I now don't allow myself that luxury too often. I think I might let myself do that once every two weeks. My habits have also changed. I am reading the Word far more often, and far more regularly and getting good revelation from it. My quiet times are now consistent and consistently powerful. And in the middle of this, I can see my habits changing even further. I even wear coloured clothing now and I have stopped scowling at strangers. Well, I wear colourful clothing at least.

My mind has changed as well. This is as obvious to me as my beard is to those who see me. And no, leaving this season does not mean that I am going to shave it off. I rebuke that.

It's also amusing that sometimes I will have said things in the past that I will have forgotten that will end up being true. For example, I once said that I did not want a girlfriend on the basis that I was trying to get my first book finished and that I was too busy wth that and the rest of my life to dedicate enough time to a relationship, my excuse NOT being that girlfriends are a pain in the ass (thanks Fran). Funnily enough, I had forgotten this. I don't think that God had though. One of His tendencies I have noticed is that His memory is perfect. He remembers what it is that He intends for us and forgets our sins when He forgives us of them. I think we are getting a pretty good deal there. I also don't think that as soon as the book is finished that I will charge out and simply find a young lady to call my own. I'll wait a few minutes first.

This season, as it comes close to being over, is being more and more appreciated. I thank God that I have almost gone through it and I thank Him for the next season to come.

Oh, and to my queensland friends; Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, gooood byyyee, nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goood byyyyee!!

Josh

A Rant

2005-07-03T04:05:00.000-07:00

You know, I once promised myself that I would not make this blog simply a collection of my bad tempered ramblings and rantings against society. Thus far I have done well.

It is now well and truly past time for me to address several issues plaguing society.

1.Exits BEFORE entrance. People, when trying to get onto a train or into an elevator, how about we don't crowd against the people trying to get off. How about we let them off first?

2.Unless you are walking stand on the left side of the escalator. Please. I mean, if I am in a hurry, and you want to stand right in the middle of the escalator, I feel that there should be some kind of legal justification for a mob to remove you from the escalator. And you know what, I don't care how good looking your boyfriend/girlfriend is, your conversation is not helping me to get to my coffeeshop in the morning. Stand on the same side, turn around and THEN talk to them. Humanity thanks you.

3.One little hobby that I have is what I call Blog-hopping. I like to push that button up in the top right hand corner and see where I turn up. It's actually not that bad a racket for keeping myself entertained. The things that keep me from enjoying this harmless past time? These blogs that have been created specifically as adds. People, this evil must be stopped. Commercial hi-jacking of the blogosphere must be prevented at all costs. Join with me here, hackers, if you can, destroy these sites. They are the embodiment of all that is evil and impure in the world.

4.If you are fluent in english, make the effort to get it right. Now I am not criticising people for whom english is a second or third language. Not at all. Well done for learning such an illogical language. More power to you. However, if you are someone who persists in writing in either txt or 1337 speak, get a dictionary and learn how to spell words correctly. The english language may be confusing, it may even be irrational, it most certainly is illogical, but it is a beautiful thing when it is done right.

Ah well, enough of that then.

God bless all of you, especially those who are volunteering or attending the Hillsong conference this week.

Josh

Encouragement

2005-07-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

This week has been quite encouraging. Mainly because there has been a whole bunch of people who have gone out of their way in order to encourage me.

The first was Craig Rains who prayed with me on sunday night last week. He confirmed a word for me that I had been thinking of in the area of my writing. So that was fairly awesome.

I also got some very good SMS from some very good friends. This one from Jules could have ONLY been written by him:
"Bro just wanna say thanks for been a good mate. i couldn't get through my recent valley without nigga's like you in my corner. Forever grateful. Jules." To be honest I wouldn't have known that I had done anything remarkable at all. Jules has always been a good friend to me, helping me get through stuff as and when it occurred. The next one was from Nata:
"Hi Josh! I thought it's nice to know that anyone in the other side of the world remember you! Lots blessings, Nata." This was a welcome surprise and lifted me for the rest of the day.

I also got to hang out with Carston this saturday night after visiting the city congregation of our church. It was good to hang out again and I have decided to make that my usual routine from now on.

Josh

Here's a good one for you

2005-07-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

I got asked this question awhile back and though I was able to answer it on the spot I have decided to post it on here, as well as my answer. Originally it was asked by my hairdresser (I have a place that I like to go to, called Moptop in Hornsby, and the guy who owns the place, Adrian, is an amazing scissorsmith) who asks all kinds of interesting questions. In fact, every time I get my haircut there he and I always have some great conversation. You guys should go and check it out. Tell him that I am endorsing his business online and maybe I'll get a free haircut or something. See, everybody wins.

Anyways the question that he asked me was "What is the fear of death?". See what I mean? Great thing to talk about when a man wielding a sharp object is right behind you. Anyways, I had a brief think. Fortunately a philosophy about this one was on my mind anyways. Admittedly, I didn't think up this one by myself but it is still a good piece of philosophy. I answered that the fear of death is to die with my work incomplete. Knowing that there could have been more that I could have done to do what I must do. His was similar, though different. His was to die and leave no mark of his existence behind.

I've been thinking about this one now for awhile and the answer I gave then is still as valid. It is not hell that I fear, for I am already assured a place in Heaven. What I fear of my passing is that God will say to me, "Lad, you did well, but you could have done so much more." I need to be more disciplined with my calling, but not just for the sake of discipline itself (thanks Carston) but for the sake that what I do is going to affect strangers many years from now. I need to love more so that many strangers now are my brothers and sisters later. I need to learn to open up more now, so that those close to me already become even closer.

Josh

Theological Test

2005-06-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

I just did this quiz on my theology. Quite an interesting find. Here are my results:

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan.
You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 79%
Emergent/Postmodern 71%
Neo orthodox 68%
Roman Catholic 64%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 46%
Fundamentalist 43%
Classical Liberalism 36%
Modern Liberal 29%
Reformed Evangelical 25%

I think it may be time that I start reading up on John Wesley a bit then. Get back to you guys soon.

Oh, here's the quiz

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870

Tell me how you go.

And Yun,
1.My beard is fine, learn to deal with it.
2.Beat boxing is a fruit of the evil one, learn to deal with it.
3.Thanks for keeping me encouraged. I know that it takes alot of work.

Josh

A timely quote

2005-06-25T17:24:00.000-07:00

I went to a ministry thing with Ellel ministries yesterday with Fran. It was fairly awesome but perhaps the most awesome thing to come out of it was the conversation afterwards in the car. Me and Fran were talking about an issue that irritated me. It was to do with someone that had been a friend, then not been a friend through walking away from the friendship, then decided to be my friend again, then walked away, then came close again and then walked away again. It was quite irritating to have someone do that to me. But enough about my irritation, this post is not a rant. We kind of dealt with that issue by talking it out and Fran told me some stuff about myself that I wasn't too sure of. I am honest, gentlemanly and I treat women friends as best I can. She said too many women weren't used to that. It kind of made me feel fairly weird. I know for a fact that one thing I am not good at is taking compliments, mainly because I don't feel worthy of them. Anyways, Fran told me that I am a good person. I had a hard time accepting that I am.

On the drive home God decided to tell me as well. I didn't hear the audible voice but I do know what He said to me. Josh, you're good. That was it. I was in tears a bit but I don't mind admitting that. I tried to deny it but my reasoning pointed out something. Number one, if God says I am good who exactly am I to argue? I tried to say that I wasn't, that someone like me could not be good. He told me again, exactly the same words. I told Him that it was only Him that made me good. He didn't argue and the words kind of hit home. I am good. He has made me that way.

I also had some quiet time that night before I went to sleep and God told me again (I guess because I am a slow learner) "Josh, you are a good man." I have slowly started to accept this. I then found this quote on Phil Baker's site this morning:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. . . . Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, to be gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. And as we let our light shine, we consciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
from President Nelson Mandella Inaugural Speech, 1994.

I would like you guys to think about who God has made you and what it is that He says about you.

Josh

A new friend

2005-06-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hey there bloggerites,

recently I came into contact with Richard Melheim across the world wide web assisted by his own blog which you can find here:

http://faithink.blogs.com/rich/

A Lutheran pastor and a heck of a nice guy. You guys should all go and check his blog out. If you're from his blog just scroll down a bit, you'll find the bit about St Thomas Aquinas down there. Brother Sharky if you could attach this url to my sidebar I'd be most appreciative.

The cool thing about his blog is that allows you to comment so much easier than the Blogger system. What I might do is start to allow anonymous posts on here just to make it easier. Though I'd like it if you could put your name on the comments you make.

Josh

Exploits new and old

2005-06-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

Just before I left to go to Seattle a good friend of mine, Katie Moore, pointed out that it has been quite some time between exploits for me. This is true and I intend to rectify such an obvious deficiency. In recent history, the closest I have come to an exploit has been an amazingly good smart remark.

I'll share it with you now.

It was in church, Pastor Paul Scanlon was preaching and I was indulging in the practise of placing my feet just on the edge of the seat in front of me. Now, this is not a correct practise but my feet hurt. So that kind of did put me in the wrong. But enough about that. The young lady sitting in that seat was a young lady friend of mine named Pascale. A nice young english girl. Now, those who know me well know a few things. The first is that I am extremely proud of my irish heritage and the second is that I am a complete smartass. Yes, it's true. This being taken into consideration it is, I feel no surprise that most english people I know are the subject of gentle irish humour about their being english. This is an old thing between the irish and the english (the histories of the two countries have not necessarily been amiable especially with england invading quite a few times, doing naughty things to the population and recently giving back only HALF of Ireland to the irish) and so my humour is not surprising and usually well taken.

But back to me having my feet on the back of her seat.

During the message she turned around and politely asked me to remove my feet from the back of her seat. I, being the courteous young man that I am removed them. And then I had an Idea. I leaned down quickly and said to her "Now could you please remove the rest of your people from the other half of my country?" She turned and gave me a look that said "That was very funny, extremely cruel and I am hiring ninjas to kill you." I thought it was good enough to post on here.

I will keep you posted on the other exploit I have planned.

Josh

St Thomas Aquinas

2005-06-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess this post makes it obvious that I just finished reading St Thomas Aquinas by Chesterton. Hurray for me. Let's move along now shall we?

St Thomas Aquinas, like St Francis is quite a remarkable man. Born in the time of Frederick II (the man who tried to bring back the Holy Roman Empire) he was a noble amongst nobles, being quite closely related to many of the royal families. And he turned his back on a life of priveledge and easy living in order to join the Dominicans as a friar. Not even an abbot, as his father had finally accepted and tried to enforce, but a humble friar. This decision rocked and divided his family. At one point, two of his brothers were sent to apprehend him and drag him back home. Once they had done this, they shut him up in a tower with very little to keep him occupied. They even tried to force him into breaking his vows by putting a prostitute in his room with him. Very few times did this studious, saintly, soft spoken man ever lose his temper. This was one of those times. According to the story he picked up a chunk of burning wood and brandished it, forcing her into fleeing the room. He then used this piece of wood to burn a blackened cross onto his doorway. A fairly radical kind of guy. To steal a piece of Terry Pratchett's writing (he steals from anywhere, so I don't feel too bad in doing so) the man may have been as soft as chalk lands (which are made from the bones of dead animals) but this is because underneath he was as hard as flint, the king of stones, the kind that takes an edge better than steel.

In his studies the other students reffered to him as "The dumb (meaning mute) ox" because of both his habit of saying very little and the fact that he was more than just a little chubby. His teacher, Albert the Great once said "The bellowing of that dumb ox will shake the world." How true this was to prove. Thomas was an Aristotleian, and believed that Aristotle's philosophy, regarding the authority of the senses, could be reconciled to christianity. Chesterton describes him as Aristotle's Godfather at his baptism.

He was a fighter, and one that threw punches with the full force of his God given intellect and with the understanding that his intellect was God given. He glorified God with all that he wrote and all that he thought. He saved the church from accepting a sense of dualistic truth whereby if what could be proved in natural law was different to what could be proved in spiritual law than there must be two separate truths. This was another occasion where the dumb ox lost his temper. According to the stories, he raged forth once more, stating in simplicity that the spiritual and natural realms may be two separate paths, but they lead the same way. The work together to prove the same thing, they just do it differently. He was a man without compromise and I suspect the reason he said very little to man was because he was always talking with God.

In truth I know little about him but I think a more indepth study shall be extremely rewarding. I'll end this with some of his poetry. I'll give a couple of stanzas in latin and then the english translation:

Lauda Sion Salvatorem,
Lauda ducem et pastorem,
In hymnis et canticis.
Quantum potes, tantum aude:
Quia maior omni laude,
Nec laudare sufficis.

Sion, lift thy voice and sing:
Praise thy Savior and thy King;
Praise with hymns thy Shepherd true:
Dare thy most to praise Him well;
For He doth all praise excel;
None can ever reach His due.

Josh

Made You Look!!

2005-06-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

Gotcha!!

Sorry. Its been a long day at work and I was kind of bored.

Thinking While I have Little Better To Do

2005-06-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, being at work during one of our dead times (which are quite predictable after awhile) has given me some thinking time which I have no intention of being wasted. Let's see how I go.

I've been checking out Phil Baker's web site. You can see the link for it over there---> on the sidebar. Alot of what the posts have been about recently is divorce. Quite a big subject for a christian or non-christian to consider. Now, my romantic life has resulted in the number of girlfriends in my past to a nice round number. 0. See, nice and round. That being said I would like to say that it is not that I have never considered acquiring a partner, simply that it has not yet been time. And according to Fran, you people are a pain in the arse anyways (her EXACT words, not mine, nor does this blog conform to these beliefs). Ahem.

The subject of divorce lead me to thinking about the subject of marriage and exactly what kind of things I have been thinking about in that area. Not alot really. The main things that I am looking out for is someone I am attracted to that I can laugh both with and at. Someone literary enough to be able not only to say which books are good and which books not, but why. I'd like to point out that being a writer isn't important, as long as she loves what God has called her to passionately. That she loves God more than me is a given as I intend to love God more than anyone.

I hope you enjoyed this minor rant. The next one will, I promise, be more amusing.

Josh

A new test of strength

2005-06-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

On the basis that I am not yet perfect ( I can hear your gasps of amazement ) I am seeking to remove from myself a bad habit that I am sick of.

In order to do this I am limiting myself on the following:

No internet usage at home after 10pm.
No internet usage at home at all if I am feeling tempted.
Keeping my eyes as pure as I can.
Keeping my mind as pure as I can.
Finish reading "Every Man's Battle" even though I despise the book.

At the moment things are going quite well, though not by my strength I assure you. What am I looking forward to? Greater intimacy with God, a lack of self-condemnation and a better christian walk with the Holy Spirit. One thing I have noticed though is that I am getting little edgier. I was almost prepared to get into an arguement with the staff of Angus and Robertson over a book that they had ordered for me that had turned up at a store that was about a 10 minute walk away from where I work. Oh well, that is behind me and I now have a copy of St Thomas Aquinas by Chesterton. Will need to wait almost two months though for a copy of What's Wrong With The World also by Chesterton and found out that they cannot get me a copy of The Everlasting Man. They have failed me for the last time (insert Darth Vader voice for that line).

Oh well, everything else is going well.

Josh

St Francis

2005-06-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

Realising that I kind of quoted the saint in my last post, albeit somewhat very badly, I thought that I would write a little bit more in here. I also just finished reading a book by Chesterton on the man and I found myself fascinated by this mendicant man of God.

St Francis of Assisi was a most interesting and influential man. He loved God, he loved man, he loved the world. In that particular order I would think. His was an interesting life, especially from the start. He was the son of a fairly wealthy merchant of cloth who enjoyed the life of privledge, and enjoyed it quite alot, if the stories are believed. The anecdote that Chesterton high-lighted from the early parts of his life was his chasing down of a beggar and when giving him all the coin that he had upon himself, then vowed to God never to turn away any man that asked for his help. He was also a soldier for a time, a cavalry man. Interesting to think that a man who would attempt to end the crusades against muslims by talking to them would have ridden against his fellow countrymen. He rebuilt churches, he lead the order of Franciscans, he praised God with all that he had. He lived and died a man running as hard and as fast as he could in order to finish the work that God had put before him.

I know however that I cannot do him justice in such a short post. In fact, Chesterton acknowledged that he had not given the man enough justice in his book. I'll leave you with this prayer of his that I found on Wikipedia:

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

I acknowledge that what the order became was an utter perversion of what the saint would have desired. But for what it did for a short time was a happy and bright painting on a world that had need of it.

Despite the fact that I am not Catholic, I think it may be time for me to do some research on some men who lead the church in the days when she sorely, sorely needed it. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Josh

Right Out of Left Field

2005-06-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the Australian education system has sure gone and done something interesting. Their newest little thing is to tell students to imagine themselves as being gay and everyone else in the world straight. Interesting. The excercise is supposed to encourage tolerance and understanding. Fair enough, says I. However, hoping that education will be the deciding factor of people changin for the better is a fairly vain hope. Much of the time, people remain small minded jerks. They simply now have a larger vocabulary with which to express themselves.

If I were to be asked to do the excercise, chances are I wouldn't. I find very little about the male physicality to be attractive (yes, we can open all our own jars and the whole deal with peeing standing up is pretty sweet too) and I think that when CS Lewis quoted some monk (who may have been St Francis of Assisi) when he called his body Brother Ass, saying that is was a fairly goofy kind of creation that could be extremely frustrating but you have to love it, he was on the money. I personally think that the female body is generally alot more interesting than the male one anyways.

My main objection to such an excercise is most certainly the christian one. I do not think that encouraging people to think in such a way is helpful to them and would make many uncomfortable. I also do not think that such a thing would teach too many people that discrimination is a bad thing. You may get a few here and there, but don't think too many people would change much at all. As a christian I will say that while I cannot support such a choice of lifestyle, I can most certainly love the person who chooses to follow it. There are few things that I believe that christians are allowed to be intolerant towards and one of them is intolerance. Jesus kept the pharisees from stoning the adulteress, He rebuked those who asked whether it had been the blind man or his parents who had sinned. At each interval, He was encouraging forgiveness and love to each other, to show compassion. Yes, He did indeed name the pharisees and sadducees as hypocrites and as broods of vipers but when He did, He also quite often told them what they should have been doing.

Josh

Whoops

2005-06-05T05:07:00.000-07:00

Hey,

I did a post on here a wee while back about a conversation I had with Andrew.

Unfortunately I misquoted him.

Sorry about that.

I still enjoyed that post.

Ummmm,

Yeah!!

Josh